Greetings fellow survivors and supporters.  It's been over a year since I've been on this site.  Believe me when I say it's not been by choice.  I have missed being connected to others who have walked the path I've walked.  There is a comfort and support that comes from being with others who understand without saying a word.  To anyone new here, welcome.  This is by far the best site for just that...support.  And venting!  I will be doing much of that in the days to come.  A year's worth of stuffing has left me weary and tired.  Will talk to you soon! 

Anniversaries, for those of us who have them, can be extremely difficult to process.  I am not disregarding any of the other traumatic days of the week or weeks of the year, but anniversaries have their own special struggles.  So much to process....what you were like before, what happened that fateful day, PTSD, clinical depression, anxiety, rage that follows and where do I fit it now.  How does one seperate?  They all seem to blend together, yet have their own gut wrenching way of getting your attention.  And when you do finally seem to have only one to deal with, then there is no energy left for the rest.  Yet they demand their time.  Right?  There are no vacations from emotions.  So do we just continue to wade through or at some point do they truly blend and become manageable?  Not really a question, but more a statement.  Alone 

Hello!  It's been an exhausting day.  The weather played a huge factor in a day long trigger.  I would love to have just short, intense triggers that you can walk away from, breath through or distract yourself from.  Felt physically sick to my stomach, heart ache and flashbacks have come and gone leaving me weak and unable to focus.  Lucky for me I had group today and was able to share with others.  They didn't really have answers, but sometimes that's okay.  Just saying it out loud can be a comfort in itself.