Today, after working out in the gym with my family I had to shower in the public showers because we didn't have time to go home and shower before dinner. I could barely soap up and use the shampoo I was so worried that the other men were watching me and thinking about attacking me. This was the first time I have used a public shower since my abuse, and it did not even remotely go the way I was hoping it would go. When will I be able to do stuff like that with out the shaking hands and the constant looking over my shoulder? Sometimes I feel like I never will.