It happened again.  I knew that because I was already a victim, that I was at increased risk of it happening again.  But it really did.  I was at a dance event.  It was supposed to be a safe community.  I didn't think to question it when he wanted to take me to an abandoned part of the building.  Then his fingers were inside me.  I turned off. 

How do I get to to the point that I don't turn off?  I want to be able to firmly say "NO" and to be able to defend myself.  I"m frustrated.