i cant cope any more with life that is i need help but i cant accespt i dont know how to let people in i just close up wen people try to talk to me about it.
i hate going out and cant even walk down the street without feeling unsafe.
i just finished court finaly but he got not guilty of rape and just guilty of underage sex with concent, they are saying im a lier sayin that i let him inside me nobody belifes me about what happened but im not the lier.
the other girl i know he 'hurt' is lieing about it she did let him have sex with her i know that for a fact but every one belifes her about it they all say am a lier and he did hurt her wen its the other way around why do people do that why cant they just trust me or keep the mouth shut i cant help what he did to me i wish i could but i cant.
i have a controling boyfriend and i cant even do anything without him having a go at me
my mother is a raving alcoholic
and my abuser is belifed
i cant cope any more im wondering what its like wen u die coz somitmes i think that it would be better if i were dead i wouldnt have to deal with the pain, himiliation, flashbacks and all that stuff but then i remember i dont have the guts to kill myself coz i dnt know whats on the other side.