Hello everyone.

I just need to leave these thoughts here. And maybe someone has some advise for me.

During the last weeks something happened...

I used (?) to be anorexic. Well I dont think you ever fully get rid of it... You may have a normal weight at times and you may eat normally. But in your head, its just always there...

So I was at a normal weight lately, eating normally and everything. So for what concernes anorexia I was doing really great (but well... only concerning anorexia...)

And now during the last few weeks it got worse again. I lost 5 kg within the last month. (which is not that much, I know. But it showes a tendency...)

My problem is, that I have this constant feeling of disgust towards my body, towards food, towards putting anything in my mouth not to mentionn swallowing it. I just cant stand it... I just cant eat... If i manage to put something in my mouth i chew and chew, but i just cant manage to swallow...

So I am now wondering, if this might forecast a full return of my anorexia...

And I start clinging to all numbers connected to my food I can get... I start counting calories again, i start making limits what i allow myself to eat... But thats not as bad as it used to be... I am more worried about this constant feeling of disgust...

What do you think about this? Does anyone have similar problems? Do you think i might relapse into my anorexia?