Well I've decided that I'm pretty stupid and I probably won't remember anything that I did tonight. I'm really struggling with what happened, mixed with whats going on in my life now. Sometimes I feel I just need to feel...well numb. I just don't want to feel anything. I decided tonight that I would feel numb. I took 4 T3's and 2 muscle relaxants and I can't feel much right now. I know that cutting is stupid and I used to do it sometimes to feel a release I guess. Well I took my scissors and pulled it across my skin a few times. Seeing the blood just makes me realize Im still alive and it releases my pain. Like I said I will probably wake up in the morning and wonder what the hell I did to myself but I felt like I needed to vent and tell someone, or just write it down even if no one reads this I know I got my feelings out.