Posted: 3/11/2009 - 2 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]
Category: concerned

 So as my previous message stated, I was sexually abused by a family member on my dad's side. Well, now that I'm thinking about it, after I took that self-defense class last Sunday my mom and I started talking about the different types of rapists we had just learned about, etc. and all of the sudden she said, "I swear that's what happened to my uncle." Apparently when he was going to school (I believe it was a Catholic school, although I really don't think that way about the Catholic church) there was an incident that my great-grandparents knew happened involving a priest or teacher asking him to stay after school and when he arrived home he was VERY different. This was during the time that absolutely no one talked about anything like that and he, to this day, has never said a word about what happened to him. The more I thought about that the more I realized that that HAS to be the reason why he is the way he is-- he always wears long-sleeved button-up shirts, he's never married, I don't think he's ever had a girlfriend or ever will, he's very soft spoken and private-- doesn't like large groups even of family members, he lived with his parents basically until they both died, and he's always been accused of being gay (behind his back, of course). Because I've been doing all this research on sex abuse for myself, it makes me sad to think that one of my relatives on my mom's side has gone through the same thing for SOO long and I want to help so badly. I'm afraid that he will take it the wrong way (he's the SUPER traditional/quiet/ avoidance type; like he'll either deny it or get angry/feel hurt because someone else knows and everything will backfire) or think that any kind of help is way too late for him (he has to be in his mid 60s). 

Any advice on what I should do? I want to help so badly, but I haven't even told anyone in my family about my issue. I don't see my great-uncle very often at all (MAYBE once a year), so we're not really close enough for me to just come out and say "I know what happened and I want to help you!" Any suggestions?

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