I don`t know what this is . . . . . I just . . . . . I need to vent . I guess I`m just typing my thoughts  down .

My mother`s boyfriend . . . . he is really pissing me off ! I mean , really ! 4 . 26 . 11 - He and his daughters came over , like usual . And like usual I just stayed in my room because I didn`t feel like dealing with him fucking with me . But my throat was real dry . So I waited until he left , or I thought he did , and went to get me something to drink . But when I came out of my room , he was still there . He yells out my name , or a nickname ppl call me that I hate 'Syd' . Then on the way to the kitchen , he blocks me so I can`t get thru . I`m thinkin WTF ! Then he wrapped his arm around my neck and chest area and just kept saying 'Give me a hug' tryin to be 'playful' . I just kept saying 'Ok.! Ok.!' and trying to get his arm from around me . Then he turned me around , still with his arm around me , so that he was up against me . I could swear he was grinding against me , so I just gave in and gave him a hug . During that 'hug'  he plays in my har A G A I N .!! My 'mother' was R I G H T T H E R E and didn`t do shit about it ! I guess because he was being 'playful' . Are you fucking serious ?!? You just gone grab me A N D grind up against me  then play with my hair !! Fucking Perv !! Ugh and my 'mother' didn`t see him grinding on me tho !! Either that or she just didn`t give a fuck !! She was right next to us !! So O B V I O U S L Y she don`t care !!  Sick mothafucker !! I can clearly see that he is probably after me , but all I know is , if I get raped again S O M E B O D Y gone fucking pay !!

Then I got mad at my 'mother' for not caring , so I did what I usually do whenever I get mad at her . . . . . I stole from her . Whether it`s money or other things I will take it from her when she makes me mad . But this time it wasn`t money . She didn`t have any cash so I took some of her weed , because I do like to smoke occasionally (which she doesn`t know) . So I took some and she must have noticed some missing cuz she came in my room and asked me did I take some and  of course I lied and said no . So she made me leave the room so she could search it . I have a lot of things to hide so I just acted offended and said 'Why I gotta leave the room for just search it in front of me !'. We kept arguing back and forth until I gave in and left . Then I listened by the door while she searched thru my stuff , scared that she would find the condoms I keep hidden (she also doesn`t know that I have sex) . But then she left the room about a minute later and I went back in . Next thing I know , she comes back in and says 'You know what you are so sneaky and I hate that about you ! You lie all the time and I can`t trust you and that`s not a good thing !' Then she left the room . As soon as she left , I just laughed . Like I realy care what she hates about me , or what anybody in this 'family' hates about me ! They could hate everything about me if they want to , I don`t give a fuck !! I hate this house anyway and I can`t wait until I`m old enough to move out , I ain`t E V E R comin back for nobody but my cousin Cheriaa !! So everybody in my So`Called 'Family' can just shut up with they bullshit !!

I literaly came to the point where I hate even going home . I look foward to coming to school (even tho I hate it) just to get away from home and to see my friends , or my Real family . So  guess I had alot to get off my chest , and it does feel good to get it off my chest . I`m sorry if this is too long , but once I started typing I ended up letting out alot more than I thought I would .