Well Here's my story, but it might be hard for me to tell it ..

My very 1st sexual encounter that i can remember was at 4 years old. When i lived with my dad in Ohio. We were over my aunt Jane's house. My cousin {who I don't want to name} called me into his room. He told me to take off my clothes. I didn't know any better, so i did. Then he told me to lay on the floor so i did. Then when he was about to put himself in me, my aunt called his name. Then he told me to put my clothes back on and don't tell anyone because we would get in trouble. But the abuse really began when i was 6 years old. My mother, aunt, and cousin would drop all of us over my uncle David's house every weekend to. That would be my sister, brother, and cousins and me. Sometimes my other aunt  would bring my cousins. None of us liked it over there. I hated it. My reasons for hatig it were these: there was never any food there. The house was infested with bugs and rats. They didn't have locks on their front or back doors. And my uncle was married to a crack addict name Angie, who I have hated with all my heart since I was little. My uncle and Angie had a one name Ronnie. Ronnie was the one who abused me. I was molested by him for 5 years starting at age 6. He had 2 friends, name Dominique and Kevin. And they did it to me too. There were a few other cousins that used to go over there: my cousins Romeo, Dre, an Michael. I never liked Romeo or Dre because they took a small part in my abuse as well. The abuse happened mostly privately, but there were time when they did it publicly, and no one saw them. Like when all of us would play hide and seek. Once when we played outside, and i hid behind the house. Romeo followed me. when we were back there, he pushed me against the house and attempted to rape me. But then a man was walking in the alley and saw us. He said that he was going to tell my uncle on us. I tried to tell the man that it wasn't me, but he didn't believe me. when my uncle called me into the house and i tried to tell him that it was Romeo, but he didn't believe me either. So we got in trouble, and i got in more trouble than Romeo did!! And another time when were playing it inside and i hid in the basement. Dre followed me down there. And there was a bed down there. Dre pshed me on the bed and started to grind against me. I tried to push him off but he just did it harder and harder. Then, then he heard somebody coming downstairs so he got off of me and ran somewhwere to hide. There was one time when me, my siblings, and my cousins were in Ronnie's room watching tv. Ronnie and his friends came in. And then I heard Ronnie say "We're about to get the freak session going." No one knows how much those words scared me. So everytime i was forced to go over there, i cried because i knew what was going to happen. At one point it was so bad for me that i tried committing suicide when i was 9 years old. The abuse lasted for 5 years and then it got worse. When i was 11 was the first time Ronnie and his friends raped me. I was so scared i didn't know what to do. The raping continued or months. Then, just when I thought that the abuse would never end, it did. We all stopped going over my uncle's house. I still don't know why. But i am very happy we did.
I never told anybody in my family about this, because iI really don't trust them. The first time i ever told anybody about it was in 2009 when i was 15. I just couldn't keep it hidden any longer. And only one grown up knows about it. I don't think i will ever tell my family.
I'm not sure, but i believe that i may suffer from PTSD, but im afraid to go to a doctor about it. I'm afraid that if i do that, the doctor will tell my mother, and I don't like to tell her anything.
Well thanks for lettng me share my story with you all. It really helps to be able to get it out there.