Final one, it was a humorous essay (agian informal) abut fashion.. I had a lot of fun writing it.. enjoy...
Fashion. I don’t get it! Ok men, big baggy shirt, large baggy pants that hang off your butt, a belt (don’t worry it’s loose enough it won’t keep your pants up it’s just for show), large flashy shoes and flashy boxers. Yummy!! I want to jump that right away... NOT! Women, tight tight tight tight pants. Infact, forget how to breathe or even try thinking about food. Just thinking will cause that button on the jeans to pop. An even tighter t-shirt or tank top (although the tank top is preferred). Did I mention everything much be low cut? Yes, everything. Pants need to at the highest rest 2 inches below your hip bones, and the shirt must show off as much boobs as possible. A push-up bra is a must! In the summer, shorts, but again TIGHT, and they need to be short. If I can’t see a good inch of butt cheek, it’s not short enough!
Okay, that’s not a pretty picture at all... Infact I think I just threw up a little in my mouth writing that. The idea of everywhere I go being assaulted by butt cheeks and cleavage is not something I want when I’m going shopping for some pants. Plus it’s not realistic. I’m skinny and I can’t even wear those skinny jeans if I tried. They just aren’t comfortable! I know, I know, it’s sexy, therefore attractive. I get that. But can’t we ladies look good even wearing something baggy? Oh wait, we do, those are called track pants. We wear those on a normal day... Not for warm ups at the gym. But if we wear those we need to wear a thong because that’s the only way we can make our butts look good in baggy pants. Oh dear what is the world coming to?
Guys, you look like idiots. That’s nice you’re wearing Corona boxers. But unless you are my boyfriend and we’re in bed, I don’t really care or want to see that. Like the song "Pants on the Ground" by Larry Platt says "With the gold in your mouth, hat turned sideways, pants hit the ground. Call yourself a cool cat,". You look stupid. Hats turned sideways, what’s the point in the hat? And those stupid "grillz" NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND YOU! There’s too much metal in your mouth to make any real words! Why even bother with them.. They make a nice paper weight though I guess.. That is if you like a set of gold and jewel encrusted teeth sitting on your math homework.
What is the world coming to? We now wear leggings as pants! I can see every wrinkle, fold, and dimple in your legs and butt. Again not a sight I want to see. You want to wear a mini skirt in the middle of the winter but your "cooch" is too cold with the wind, put on leggings on. Okay, that’s kind of acceptable. That way I don’t have to see your butt anymore. But as pants on their own? I don’t want to know what lies between your legs. Those things are so tight no self-respecting woman who likes her privacy would wear those! They make sense if they are under something but as your pants du jour they don’t make sense. They’re skin tight and show of everything. And I mean everything! You have a mole on your left butt cheek... Yup, I can see that! Some scar from some random sports accident on your thigh. I can see that as well. No one wants to see that much detail of someone’s body that they don’t take to bed with them. It’s just wrong. A guy could get punched because it’s like they’re undressing someone else’s girlfriend. Well I’m sorry, you kind of left an open invitation when you put those nearly see through (they’re so tight across her legs) and tight "pants" it’s hard not to.
Fashion changes, I get that. But what happened to decency? To only showing your body to the person who you intend to have sex with? Fashion changes every few years, but where has fashion gone these days? Can we change fashion before it’s too late and our entire world is basically a nudist colony, or we go back to wearing loin-clothes?