Final one, it was a humorous essay (agian informal) abut fashion.. I had a lot of fun writing it.. enjoy...

Fashion. I don’t get it! Ok men, big baggy shirt, large baggy pants that hang off your butt, a belt (don’t worry it’s loose enough it won’t keep your pants up it’s just for show), large flashy shoes and flashy boxers. Yummy!! I want to jump that right away... NOT! Women, tight tight tight tight pants. Infact, forget how to breathe or even try thinking about food. Just thinking will cause that button on the jeans to pop. An even tighter t-shirt or tank top (although the tank top is preferred). Did I mention everything much be low cut? Yes, everything. Pants need to at the highest rest 2 inches below your hip bones, and the shirt must show off as much boobs as possible. A push-up bra is a must! In the summer, shorts, but again TIGHT, and they need to be short. If I can’t see a good inch of butt cheek, it’s not short enough!

Okay, that’s not a pretty picture at all... Infact I think I just threw up a little in my mouth writing that. The idea of everywhere I go being assaulted by butt cheeks and cleavage is not something I want when I’m going shopping for some pants. Plus it’s not realistic. I’m skinny and I can’t even wear those skinny jeans if I tried. They just aren’t comfortable! I know, I know, it’s sexy, therefore attractive. I get that. But can’t we ladies look good even wearing something baggy? Oh wait, we do, those are called track pants. We wear those on a normal day... Not for warm ups at the gym. But if we wear those we need to wear a thong because that’s the only way we can make our butts look good in baggy pants. Oh dear what is the world coming to?

Guys, you look like idiots. That’s nice you’re wearing Corona boxers. But unless you are my boyfriend and we’re in bed, I don’t really care or want to see that. Like the song "Pants on the Ground" by Larry Platt says "With the gold in your mouth, hat turned sideways, pants hit the ground. Call yourself a cool cat,". You look stupid. Hats turned sideways, what’s the point in the hat? And those stupid "grillz" NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND YOU! There’s too much metal in your mouth to make any real words! Why even bother with them.. They make a nice paper weight though I guess.. That is if you like a set of gold and jewel encrusted teeth sitting on your math homework.

What is the world coming to? We now wear leggings as pants! I can see every wrinkle, fold, and dimple in your legs and butt. Again not a sight I want to see. You want to wear a mini skirt in the middle of the winter but your "cooch" is too cold with the wind, put on leggings on. Okay, that’s kind of acceptable. That way I don’t have to see your butt anymore. But as pants on their own? I don’t want to know what lies between your legs. Those things are so tight no self-respecting woman who likes her privacy would wear those! They make sense if they are under something but as your pants du jour they don’t make sense. They’re skin tight and show of everything. And I mean everything! You have a mole on your left butt cheek... Yup, I can see that! Some scar from some random sports accident on your thigh. I can see that as well. No one wants to see that much detail of someone’s body that they don’t take to bed with them. It’s just wrong. A guy could get punched because it’s like they’re undressing someone else’s girlfriend. Well I’m sorry, you kind of left an open invitation when you put those nearly see through (they’re so tight across her legs) and tight "pants" it’s hard not to.

Fashion changes, I get that. But what happened to decency? To only showing your body to the person who you intend to have sex with? Fashion changes every few years, but where has fashion gone these days? Can we change fashion before it’s too late and our entire world is basically a nudist colony, or we go back to wearing loin-clothes?

Ok this is the parody, it's basically poking fun.. I chose to write about awareness groups (see my previous entry about something called TWLOHA)

Hey world! We’re back, and we’re not your parent’s awareness groups, no we’re a whole new breed of group. We get on Facebook and Twitter now. There’s no escaping us!!

We even have a new strategy; get so many followers, all who are extremely passionate about the cause, but allow nay-sayers to post their feelings about the group as well. Let the flame war begin. Our platform is even vaguer than ever. This is to allow people to post on the wall and ask what the campaign is about and get yelled at for not understanding.

All in all it’s a terrible idea but it’ll work! All the teens will get sucked in and think it’s great, tell their friends and we’ll have even more support! Frankly we don’t even know what we’re raising awareness for. Something vague that is hard to stop no matter how hard you try. Plus it should be something that a lot of people support, yet a lot of people like to do and don’t really want to stop doing. This way we can have tons of flights breaking out!

This is an awesome idea! No way this can fail. All the people participation are awesome!! You guys can change the world if you just try! All those not participating, the participants will make you participate and enjoy it. There’s no use in trying to resist.

Oh, I know what we can create awareness for: human stupidity! Many people take part and won’t want to stop, at the same time those who have to deal with it want it to end. By definition, this will create many fights on the wall posts and it’s vague and hard to stop, all the things we want this to end up being.

We can even have some stupid thing to do for this awareness project: write " DUR!!" on your forehead... in sharpie marker!! Everyone will do it. It’ll be great. People will ask why they have that written on their forehead and the participants can tell them it’s because they are raising awareness about human stupidity and how it can be stopped. When people say it’s impossible to do, the participants can give them crack-pot ideas on how we can change the way people are and stop them from being stupid. Plus it’ll get more and more people aware of the cause and want to do something! Because everyone wants to try and stop things that aren’t a good thing right?

So everyone in the world, come out and participate, because if you don’t participate we’ll find you. When we find you, we’ll brainwash you to our ideals and make you want to participate and you’ll have so much fun. Maybe you’ll even get a tattoo to commemorate the time you spent with our "organization". So come out on no day, at no time, for a while lot of nothing, because that’s what our organization will do: absolutely nothing!

Ok this is a serious (but informal) essay I wrote in my writer's craft course. It's about the effects of divorce on teens. Enjoy

Divorce. The dictionary says it’s "a judicial declaration dissolving a marriage in whole, or in part, esp. one that releases the husband and wife from all matrimonial obligations". These divorces can be simple and fairly painless for all involved. At the same time, it can be the Third World War. Any divorce has many sides, the husband, the wife, the in-laws (on both sides remember) and any children. The younger the child the "easier" it is. By easier I mean how much it affects them in the end. The earlier It happens the less a child knows or remember of their parents (biological that is) of being together. But what happens when a divorce happens when the children are in their early teens? The most volatile and unstable part of a child’s life as it is.

As a teen myself I know the problems teens face on a daily level. To add a divorce into the mix makes things just that much more impossible. Teens face a constant onslaught everyday. To look perfect and the act perfect. If you don’t fit what ever that day’s ideal is then you are labeled weird and are not able to be popular. Girls must be thin and blonde and be willing to "put out". While males need to be tall, dark, and handsome with a decent amount of muscle. No one is allowed any fat on their bodies. If we don’t fit these ideals then we are shunned from the rest of the teen populous. That’s hard enough to deal with. But what happens when a teen faces the fact their parents no longer love each other?

Teen’s have relationships as well, whether these be in a homosexual (male with male, or female with female) or heterosexual nature. Some last for years, while others last a few weeks or months. We always want to please these people, but when we see our parents and their love has died we start thinking what is the chance that our teenaged "love affair" will last? It creates insecurities. Watching my own parents going through their divorce for years now has no been easy. I started dating my current partner not long after my parents legally separated. It was the concrete showing of their love and marriage being broken. Internally I started to wonder if myself and my boyfriend had even the slightest chance in Hell of getting past the "honeymoon period" (6 months of dating). Thankfully we have and are stronger than ever.

My mother-in-law who has seen her share of children affected by divorce, and has her share of experience has said the most mind-blowing thing ever one day over dinner and a talk with how my relationship with my parents has been lately. She said it’s tough on a child. A child is the coming together of two people (who presumably love each other) to make something beautiful. A child. But when a divorce happens the child goes and lives at one parent’s house and visits with the other. Most often we will hear hurtful and spiteful things one parent says about the other. One parent will almost always reject the other. But think about that for one second. This child is half his or her mother, and half their father. When the mother rejects the father, it’s like the mother is rejecting half their child. Because in reality without the father this child wouldn’t be standing here hearing what their mother has to say.

Teens naturally have a hard time with parents. Teens aren’t old enough legally to have adult responsibilities but they want them because we’re just so close to being an adult we can taste it. Teens and parents don’t get along for years, until the teen is usually in university/college usually. Go back to a divorcing family. This teen no longer has something normal and a routine. They are being bounced around between two houses, usually two new houses. Then there’s the step parents. Step parents are weird. They want to be accepted and feel the love you have for your parents and will do next to anything to get it. But at the same time it’s tough for a teen to see their parents, who they’ve watched growing up as a loving pair, move on and date someone new. It’s weird. I now have a step mother, and a step father. I also have gained in-laws. This divorce despite everything it’s done to my relationship with my parents has strengthened my relationship with my boyfriend and his family. They have become my family with no strings attached.

Divorce is a tough time for all. It shouldn’t be something taken lightly because it’s not something that can be taken lightly. Divorce is a complicated process where everyone in the family should be involved, and where everything should be explained.