Hello again my friends

Seems that like I said in my last message....thing typically do not get good..they get worse...and whats been going on lately is just proof of that. So my boyfriend decided he was going to tell my best friend that we are dating. I wasnt ready to tell her, because I knew she wouldnt approve, turns out, I was 100% correct. She HATES the idea of it, and has been trying to reason with me about how much of a bad idea this is, and that I need to end it now before I get hurt. Thing is....I love him....I really and truly do....but if I stay with him....I kill her....and shes the reason im alive today, shes the one who gave me the courage to stop my....'problems' with my brother. I literally owe that girl my entire life....and I dont want to hurt her...

But I love him......

So.....I hurt him....and keep my best and truest friend.....and hurt my heart in the process

Or stay with him....and hurt her........and still hurt my heart in the process

As you can see, im at a loss either way. I hurt either way, and I am going to hurt one of them with me....there is no avoiding it. I honestly dont know what to do...and all I want to do right now is get rid of the pain....the only way I know how too.

Somebody please help me before I do something I shouldnt and send myself into a breakdown