I am a surviver.

I was sexually abused by my step-dad for almost six years. From the time I was nine to the time I was fourteen I was a victum.

I had thought about telling my mom for a very long time and I knew that she would believe me, but something always held me back...I still don`t know what it was. But on the very last day of my 8th grade year I was riding home on the bus and I heard a voice. Crazy right? But wether it was crazy or not doesn`t matter. What the voice said rocked my world more than anything else I have ever experinced. "He is going to start on your sister."

I felt a rage like that of the sea and my stomach dropped as far as a bottomless pit. It didn`t matter what anyone thought, who was hurt; I was telling. My sister means more to me than my life and by me not telling I was endangering her. That was NOT an option.

I got off the bus, went straight into my mom`s office, and then I told her the most horrible thing a mom can ever hear. I know what I told her tore our her very soul and to this day I wish I could have saved her that. She never once questioned me. She cried and cussed in rage, but she never once asked me if I was lying...I think that is part of the reason I have been able to heal so well.

My mom immediatly informed the police. The police officier was very polite and kind. They took a statement and put out a warrent for his arrest. (Just in case the "system" reads this; it would be much better if you sent out a female officer for a call like this.)

My mom then called my uncle asking what she should do. He was at my house in three hours; he lives four hours away. He gave me one of the biggest hugs I have ever gotten in my entire life. Once again no one doubted me.

I asked my sister if Gil had tried anything with her and she didn`t think so. I cried with relief. And then tensed with horror as a funny look came over her face..."He did accidently touch me once, but he said it was an accident." I could have punched a solid steel wall and won the battle. It was NOT an accident, but she thought it was...she was okay.

Then began the worst six months of my life. They couldn`t find Gil anywhere; even when they traced the threatening calls he made to my mom. When they did finaly find him he was in California and had to be transferd back to Texas. The legal system was a mess. The D.A. wanted to settle for parol...my mom had other plans. She nearly killed herself to make sure he went to jail, but it paid off. In the end he had to serve eigth years.

Through all of this my dad was in Iraq. He deployed the day I told my mom. That`s the Army for ya`. He actually called me from the plane on the way to Iraq. He told me to be brave and that everything would be taken care of. I couldn`t help rolling my eyes at that.

I am currently a student at Texas Tech University. I was just admitted to their Healtch Sciences program. My family has helped me through all of the trials I have faced because of my experience and I don't think I can love any group of people more than I love them. I have five of the most supportive friends you could ask for. They know my entire story and have never once judged me for it. I love them with all of my heart.

I am a B.A.C.A. child (Bikers Against Child Abuse). Let me tell you, when you are a child up in the stands giving your testimony and you look out into the audience and see a row of bikers backing you up, your fear dissolves just as a fog will clear before the sun.

As well as I am doing there are still times I can get the blues, but I just listen to a song by Josh Groban; You Are Loved (Don't Give Up), and everything is okay, because I am loved and I was not defeated.

I am a survivor.

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