Today i am overwhelmed with sadness.
Since the rape (11/1/08), I've lost friends, confidence, sense of accomplishment, gained weight, felt helpless, been in and out of therapy, and pretty much failed at everything I've tried to do. I was never this person before.
I was a senior in college when he did it to me. I have tried four times since then to finish, but it has been too much for me to handle. i can't graduate. I was supossed to walk across that stage Friday in my cap and gown in front of my family, but I broke the news to them yesterday that I'd be letting them down again. I think they are finally realizing that they aren't really able to expect very much of me before.
Meanwhile, over a year and half later, my frustration is urking at me. NOTHING has happened to him -- he did this to me, and it messed up my life! what happens to him? Nothing. It's not fair. I mean I just can't get over it. I am so sad.
I wonder if I'll ever move on, if i'll get better. I hope this doesn't weigh me down my whole life. I am so depressed. I really hope/pray for an emotional turnaround. Ugh :( My heart hurts