I posted a summary a while back when I joined PwP, a so-called survivor's entry. I've been thinking about it lately and it doesn't do it justice. I re-read it and it wasn't the outright honest truth story that it should have been. It was far less than it should have been.
Lately I've been spending a lot of time thinking about what would help me heal, what is going to make me ok. I honestly don't know but I do know this. I hide... I do it consciously and subconsciously. I hide my feelings and push my memories away without dealing with them. This is bad... because when times get hard I don't deal with things the way I should. I've come to realise this.
The only problem is I'm not ready to be as brave as some of you. I can't bring my story to life... I'm too afraid of what it will do to me. I need to say this at least... I need to admit that I'm addicted to stashing the memories and ignoring the pain.
One day I will be brave and face it.