I posted a summary a while back when I joined PwP, a so-called survivor's entry.  I've been thinking about it lately and it doesn't do it justice.  I re-read it and it wasn't the outright honest truth story that it should have been.  It was far less than it should have been. 

Lately I've been spending a lot of time thinking about what would help me heal, what is going to make me ok.  I honestly don't know but I do know this.  I hide... I do it consciously and subconsciously.  I hide my feelings and push my memories away without dealing with them.  This is bad... because when times get hard I don't deal with things the way I should.  I've come to realise this. 

The only problem is I'm not ready to be as brave as some of you.  I can't bring my story to life... I'm too afraid of what it will do to me.  I need to say this at least... I need to admit that I'm addicted to stashing the memories and ignoring the pain. 

One day I will be brave and face it.