my tital "the 8 mistakes" are my rape cases and they all were with the same guy over the years these memories that i have of what he did to me. but i know that he is locked-up and he cant get me physically anymore. emotionaly and mentally when im sleeping yea thats another heartbreak. so i will tell this community my stories becuase i want to tell my story maybe i will heal. so my stories are deap i have my age and his age and what happend from memory.
mistake # 1: i was 12 he was 17, i was in the city market parking lot a strange guy came up to me pushed me up against the side of my truck and he raped me a few hours later my biological brother jessi found me laying in my truck cab. from memory i remember what he looked like i knew before he attacked i asked him what he wanted and said that he could take my money my truck anything just leave me unharmed. i was mad but i didnt try to get free i didnt scream i just stood there. when jessi found me i didnt tell him i just kinda sat there and told him that i fell asleep.
mistake #2: i was 13 he was 18, it was him again the same guy that had raped me from the first time. i knew it just by his face he said that he was sorry he knew that i knew and so i accepted it and then i started dating him gosh i was so stupid. after we'd been dating 2 weeks he raped me again although at the time i didnt think of it as rape.
mistake #3: i was 14 he was 19, i was still dating him still and i just started the sixth grade. i got to mee his parents for the first time at his parents that night and so instead of going home i stayed at his house. that night nothing happend that night but while living with another new family so i went over to his house like it was my 2nd home. one night he just pinned me down and and i didnt move so i layed there and cryed i was in shock thinking he wouldnt do it agian i didnt fight against him. this on he got me pregnant he stayed through the pregnancy. after the birth he split i kept my son for a year the rest of my sixth grade and my 7th grade year living with one of my best friends she was 18 at the time and she said that she would adopt him. i was thankful for that because i kept it an open adoption so i could se him.
mistake # 4: i was 14 still,he was 19, he poped back up in my life all apologetic little did i know it was fake and i wanted a boy friend so much cause i was popular when i was dating him. so my new foster family wanted to meet my boyfriend and so my dad took all of us out to dinner, after dinner i was driving my family home my foster dad wanted to know where he lived so while my foster mom and siblings stayed at the house i drove to my boyfriends. getting out of the truck to hug my boyfriend goodnight my foster dad grabbed me and him and my boyfriend bound me in the back seat with the seatbelts and the took turns raping me and while on was doing it the other one pistol whipped me that was my fault though i always kept a shot gun and a pistol in my truck and they both used it to there advantage. jessi found me beaten and bruised and that when he found out about the other ones.
Mistake # 5,6,7: so i was 15 and he was 20 i was once agian back with him because i wanted to be popular and so we were dating. i was just starting my freshman year i was excited. and i though he could change. i was at his birthday party and he had two of his best friends there we all were supposed to go muddin my boyfriend was driving out in the middle of nowhere and his first buddy put a dog collor on my and him and the other guy shoved me into a K-9 kennle and they took turns raping me and so the summer i knew i finally didnt care about the popular group anymore the middle of the summer of somphmore year i was done broke it off and i started cutting and got depressed i only thought my happiness is wheni play my musical instuments so when i cut myself i would either play my drums,acoustic, or violing and i sang. my sophmore year was upon me and i started partiing more and cutting i was in denile thinking everything was fine until the night came and i releived all the cases and i didnt sleep most nights i would stay awake drinking or smoking pot figuring if i didnt sleep and i was tripping everything was good. my foster parents that year knew they couldnt control me so they put my back in the system so jessi adopted me and made me behave it was hard to quit cutting and partiing all the time but i did it .
mistake # 8: my sophmore year had just ended and i was doing well i was into rodeo, my band and my poetry i was ling well i had my older brother looking out for me and my best friend came up here and it was the summer before my junior year and she came with my son which i hadn't seen in years so she lived with us and i raised him all summer and when summer was coming to an end i had one last rodeo which was a local rodeo and i went and then i saw his face my son was muttin busting. i told jessi and my best friend to take my son i was going to give him a peice of my mind yea that went over just peachy he raped me in front of everyone it took 4 police men and an EMT person to get him off me he got his last hurt done with i was put in the ambulance and taken to the local hospital where i stayed under a drug induced coma for 3 week from the broken parts of my body because basicly i was a tuga war rope between him my brother and the first responders there trying to get me away from him i passed out halfway through it thank god.
there i feel somewhat better now that my story is out in the open.