Hey Hey My PWP Family

This has been a hell of a few months. My daughter who was sexually assaulted repeatedly from my ex went to the Children's Aid Society (CAS) here and wanted her abuse to be verified after several years of being told it couldn't be and that she wasn't believed...(well indirectly they told her this by not verifying and insisting her step - dad had rights!)  Ok so she recently went for her last interview with the CAS regarding her past sexual assaults. They interviewed her again and she disclosed all that she could remember. As her mother it's been a difficult journey of recovery of my own but to watch her suffer with sleeplessness, headaches, nausea and anxiety it has been extremely challenging. I want to tear his head right off! 

So my daughter discloses and than shortly after that my son (who is the abuser's biological son as a result of a sexual assault) comes home from his supervised visit with many gifts at hallowe'en and low and behold what do you think the fricken abuser did????? YEP! He sent my daughter home a shirt without the supervisors of the centre even knowing!....ok so now I'm pissed and tell the CAS what he did and of course they minimize the impact that would have on my daughter. They say that they can't be sure it was sent for her and not for my son.  Let me explain why I know it was sent to her...the size of the shirt a large adults...the size of my son 6X in boys weighing only 45 pounds and four feet tall...NICE FRICKEN TRY!

Ok so that happened and than things just seemed to get worse...the abuser tells the CAS that he doesn't want to come in right away and post-pones the investigation and essentially the results for over 5 more weeks...I ask the CAS why they would let him the accused abuser dictate when he will be interviewed and they said that his piece of information was so important that they didn't want to rush him...DO YOU BELIEVE THAT>?  Since when do we ever allow the alleged abuser to determine how this investigation will go?  I'm confused because they never gave me that luxury..the mother who never did a damn thing but try to protect her children from a sex offender....

So now approximately a month later my son comes home extremely upset from an access visit and tells us that his daddy has toys at his house and that he that staff at the visitation centre won't allow his daddy to bring them to the supervised access centre.  It turns out the abuser was left alone in a room with my son for several minutes and a discussion took place that scared the shit out of me and my fiance....the sentence that my son said that scared us most went something like this, " We can go to daddy's house and get the toys, it will only take a minute."  This was said to my son who is developmentally delayed and would believe that and happily follow his father out the door.  I am shocked!  It leaves me no confidence in the centre supervisors in protecting my son from this very manipulative man.  My partner and I spen several hours with the local police and the children's aid departments trying to sort out a safety plan.  In the meanwhile I'm having a fit!  How do I know dad won't come to the school and lure my son off ground by saying ...remember k when I said we could go to my house and get toys ..get in the van...it will only take a minute....OH MY!  I have no idea what to do? If I don't send him on access I will end up being arrested is what one officer said to me as a result of the court order in effect at present.  This needs serious ammending and a new restraining order needs to be drafted to protect myself and the children.  Unfortunately to make my week better, December 8th 2010 I received a letter from my lawyer involved in this case for three years that he is no longer my lawyer. I have to find a new one now..so here as I sit right now I have no lawyer...

As for today ...today I spoke with my daughter and she was really struggling but says she is feeling better now...how do I know this?  She doesn't appear happy while she is teary and crying.  As for her abuser...well I just find out that my ex (the abuser) made her do horrific things ...bit by bit she discloses to me and bit by bit I want to lose it!  I told her that I wasn't going to let him get away with what he had done...I told her I will keep fighting for her justice.   So today as it stands I wait for the meeting thursday to determine whether the CAS will verify the abuse...I wait for a police officer to tell us whether they want to make another police report with the new details of the abuse she is slowly disclosing...I wait for the new lawyer to meet with me thursday too to determine whether we will be working together...I wait and wait and wait.....as I lose my mind slowly...

You are all a very valuable group of people in this world...Chi Miigwetch (big thank you ) for all of your support through this mess.

Blessings! Mandee