took you by surprise when i walked through the door.(i had keys).i was there to tell you that i didnt want you and i was throu with all the abuse. you seemed to be high. you came closer and i stood still with out an ounce of fear. you said it would never be over , that you owned me. you became angry grabbed me by my hair and pulled it back and said women when i say ill love you to death i mean it. go ahead and threaten me i dont care its all the same i told you. you pushed me to the floor. i got up. i said your a worthless  piece of trash that id spit on. you smacked me, i got upset. i smacked you back. we began to fight.you had me for a while smacking me in my face, to throwing me into the walls. finally you pushed me on the bed and began to take my clothes off. i refused to be taken again. smacking you in the face and doing as muchas i could, even trying to rip your lips and ears off. nothing. yea so you got me again you fucker. but it wasnt the end for me. your shower was your weakness. i saw the metal bat you hit me with. i waited by your door for you to walk in. you came in and noticed i wasnt where you left me by the time you turned around i had already swung the bat. catching you in your face right by your temple. i could have killed you. when you hit the floor you seemed weak. you were curled on your side. i kicked you in your face twice(really hurt my feet.). you were on your back i sat on you and started punching you in the face, each hit got harder and harder. i felt unstoppable. hitting and hitting till you were in blood. you were awake but didnt move. it felt amazing. i went to the kitchen and got a knife came and put it to your throat. wanted to slice you wide open but couldnt. i ddint want to go to jail. i was pregnant and didnt want to spend my days behind bars without my baby. i dont know how i did it but i did. i put my self at huge risk but i knew i would get mine. didnt think i would get rapped. dont know how my baby survived but she did.she a lil fighter too. my husband doesnt know bout this,i never told him. im pretty sure hell kill me lol. i was with him at the time and was two and a half mmonths pregnant from him. after this i went immediately to the hospital and told the doctor who attended me what happened and that i had a severe pain around my uterus. he seemed worried and continued to ask me bout the pain. after a sonogram he saw the baby was perfect and described the pain to be stretching of the uterus cuz the baby was growing and needed more room. i was releaved. no damage exept a red face from bieng smacked alot. that was the last day of my sexual and physical abuse but not for the emotional.

bieng raped molested or beaten was almost a daily thing for me but this was a scar on my heart.

            complete fear filled my heart when i saw those two lines on the test. yep i was pregnant all right. cant go wrong when you take six test and thier all positive. had no idea what to do. talked to my friend who promised not to tell. she did the worst. told him!!( my abuser)

      three days later i was in a train station going home. late at night. he had walked me to the train i didnt want him to drive me. he began to talk bout the baby and he seemed very angry. he began to beat me so violently. i was scared for my life. viscous blows and kicks straight to my stomach i got once i hit the floor. i couldnt figure out why he would hurt me and his own child that would never survive. after several hits he then pushed me down the concrete stairs. only one person tried to help  out of 6 people i could see and prove to be helpless. i felt warm around my bottom and felt to see what it was and it was blood all over my hands. he stopped hitting me and dropped to the floor next to me. he began crying and started to apologize.  seeing my blood he picked me up and took me a few blocks from there. to a hospital all white and i could hear a strange beeping and hear blurred voices. a bunch of people in blue and white, looked like doctors. when i could hear i heard a man yelling that my husband was with me and said i was three monthspregnant. all yelling to get me into a bed. a cold bed and a loud beeping again was what i heard and then more yelling. "shes slipping!!"  more doctors came all dressed the same. vision got blurry and sound got muffled. couldnt hold it ithink i was dying.

                          i heard a distant voice" baby wake up please come on you can do it and it was him starring me in my face. he looked so hurt.

doctor came to me and said they were sorry but the baby didnt make it. they said they almost lost me i dont remember why, all got foggy after the news. i dont know how i was treated but they thought i was 23 ( i was only 16) and married. my bill was paid and i was free to go after the police ask me some questions. they asked my name  age adress and the usual then asked about the bruising on my chest and stomach i lied and said i didnt remeber. "one last question maam are you sure theres nothing you wish to tell?". i teared a bit and said no thats all. why didnt i tell?he grabbed my hand a slipped a card in my hand andsaid use it anythime. it had his name and number on it. my abuser saw it and threw it away.

    he later told me that he told them he found me in my car like that and took me to the hospital

 i am washing his dishes. he calls out to me"are you done in there?" upset that i was doing his dishes after him n 6 of his friend dirtied them i yelled back "almost". i guess he didnt hear me because he repeated the question. and again i answered him but in a more attitudish way. "i said im almost done!!" (i should have never done that). he came storming in the kitchen and knocked me to the ground. when i looked up all i saw was the barell of a gunin my face. and all i did was say my last prayer and he pulled the trigger. i thought i was dead until iheard him say "damn it i forgot to load it again.. and i passed out..

 i was four years old and just started kindergarden. i was sexually molested but never raped by four young boys in my school.they were in the third grade exept forone he was a fifth grader put in special ed because he was left bak twice. his name was nico. the other kids didnt do much but follow wat he said. it wasntmuch done to me but when they did touch me it was very scary for me. when itold my father he went up to my school but they denied that the boy was ever anywhere near me. and denied everything to the cops. i cant understandwhy noone would help me.. but i love my dad for trying so hard even though no one believed us he always did. he taught me how to fight the best he could and that surely worked to my advantage. after he graduated from the 6th grade which was 3 years later i neverhad a problem....exept for the memories.