I seem to be an intelligent person, at least I would like to think so.  My IQ is like 138. My GPA is a 3.8.  I've said that to say this.  I CANNOT FORM A FREAKING SENTENCE ANYMORE.  I caught myself having issues spelling the word what today. It has 4 freaking letters!!! I could read before going to head start and I cannot spell a simple word like what?  WTF?  I cannot gather thoughts anymore.  Sometimes I think it would just be easier to stop trying.  I cannot sleep because when I do, things come back to me. I rarely even leave the house. If I can find any excuse to do so, I am so using it. In the last month, I can count on one hand the number of times I have left my house, which really effs with me because living here is a constant reminder of the past.  I avoid the phone because I get tired of stupid people and then I turn on the computer and there are more stupid people.  Why does interacting with people have to be so hard.  I want to have friends.  I want to have people that I can talk to, but why does it have to be so hard.  Right now, all I want to do is go back to being the way that I used to be.  Being drunk and self destructive is so much easier...