I'm on a medical leave from work right now due to sickness. I'm not sure what the problem might be. I have been having seizures. This is scary shit. So frustrated and concerned about my health. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers right now. I really need it.

All wrapped up in a ball and chain,

Trying to escape this horrible pain,

Maybe I'm not trying hard enough,

But I'm scared of change,

When things feel better you would think I smile,

Instead I feel empty because I'm so used to pain,

There does'nt seem to be a happy place for me,

I move forward but still feel sad.

Tonight was the night I fucken exploded. I could'nt take no more. I'm tired and not taking care of myself. I feel like a slave in my home. Always cleaning, cooking doing the whole house thing. Never anytime for me. I'm falling apart, I look and feel like shit. I walked out, told everyone I'm on strike. I told my husband and teenage daughter to fend for themselves and take care of the babies. I'm back right now, had to deal with a few things before the babies went to bed. Now I sit here and regret what I just did. I should have kept it together and I did'nt. I lost it on my family. They are all I have and I lost it. Lost myself and not sure if it was me or another personality that did this because right now I just feel really drained and confused. I lost 3 hours of my night not knowing what happened and what even caused this in the first place. I have a blank moment of not remembering. This is scary and dangerous as well. I just left the house. Please someone be here for me tonight. I need someones understanding and comfort. I'm really scared I just lost it.