I wrote an entry on how I became in contact with my long lost family. This is my fathers side of the family. When I told my secret at 13 years of age to my fathers side, they disowned him as well and have not heard from him either. It has been 24 years since I have seen or heard from any of my family members on this side. My secret became something I dreaded and that was I lost all contact with my family. A lot of lost years that was not called for. Don't know what or why this happened, it just did.  I will get to the point. Myself and my sister are going to be reunited with them all ( except our father of course) this Saturday being June 19. I am so fucking excited and scared at the same time. It has been so long and we will all be in the same room. It is a baby shower for a cousin, I do not even remember. How will I cope through this, with a fake big smile and holding back tears. I have alot of resentment towards my Aunties because I was 13 years old and they not only through my father out of there lives but, also me, mom and my sister. Why? Why? This will not be the place or time to ask these questions this I know. At least this will be a moment of gentle hugs and hopefully a memory of joy for me and my sister to share. I hope to not split on this day as they have know idea this can happen to me but, if it does, so be it. They will see what this past abuse has done to me. I took this day off of work and the next because I don't know how I will feel afterwards. I could be ok, but then I might not. Just wanted to share with you all that I'm being reunited and I hope this is good. Much love to you all. xo