My sister opened up the other day and told me she is having memories of our father abusing her. She told me these two that I still can't stop picturing in my head and laughing my ass off. You will most likely get this picture in yours as you read.

I posted a entry on here awhile back about not having any privacy while in the bath. Well, one day my sister being around 13 years, was in the shower and heard a noise at the ajoining door from my parents closet to the bathroom. She looked from outside the shower and no one was there but the door was opened alittle. She felt scared so she turned off the shower and wiped up fast and ran to her room. Next time she had a shower she was not in it and left the water running and stood beside the door in her shirt and shorts with a bucket of hot hot water. The door opened and my sister through the bucket of hot water through the crack of the door. Then the door slammed and she ran to the other door going out of the bathroom to see our father running down the stairs soaked from head to toe. HAHAHA that's what you get you bastard.  

Another my sister set up a trap at her doorway, again being 13 or 14 years old. She set up a fishing line at foot hight in her door way with cans on the end of the line. If anyone would happen to fall over the line the cans would make a huge noise. Well, what do you know, the idiot tried to cross the line. Sister jumped out of bed and told him to fuck right off. Crazy thing is, he did not get mad and beat the crap out of her like she thought he would. He just got up and walked away.

My sister was pretty smart and saved herself from repeated rapes I'm sure would have happened. There are many times my sister set up traps so she would be woken in the night. I guess he tried alot of the abuse when we were sleeping. I know I got abused alot during the hours of being asleep.

I have decided to go on medication. I am a bomb ready to go off. I am a fricken roller coaster, up and down way too much, it is affecting my relationship with my husband and teenage daughter. I have major mood swings that I am tired of having, enough is enough, it's time to be going at a somewhat normal flow. This past going off have been so difficult for me, with all these new changes in my life , first of all being pregnant for 2 years one baby after another. To moving across Canada 2 times, tip to tip. Battleing my way through the court to fight for custody for my teenage daughter. ( My daughter won.) This is another story to tell at a later time. Coming back to my support with know where to live, no money 1 baby and pregnant due in 2 months. Stress, stress, stress. Now getting ready to go back to court for my abuse and having to start all over the remembering process. Well I remember all, so it's just getting prepared for it.  I am just scared to go on meds, I don't want to be on them forever. I was on them when I was younger and I hated the feeling. So I guess it just means finding the right ones.