I am so fuken sick of people telling me its in the past, to move on. Especially when they have never gone through anything remotely close to being sexually abused, raped, whatever. Why didn't i think of that myself to just move on. GRR.. if it was that easy I would have done it by now. But I have spent most of my life running away from it, when i need to do the opposite and deal with it. Sick of the i think you should just forget it too. Fuk i have tried to forget it for so long, its not exactly something you can just forget one day. the memories are carved into me. I am so fuken angry. I hate it when people who have been sexually abused say to move on to. they assume well i have moved on so why can't you. But everyone's experience is different and it affects people in different ways. Fuck, its so annoying, no one has any idea what it's like and how it changes you as a person. They don't know what it's like to live in fear each day. OR to feel dirty and scrub your skin for hours straight but never feel clean. They have no idea what it is like to have to live with the pain of what someone done to us. It's not the same as having a guy break up with you, or having a fight with a friend. it doesn't just all of a sudden disappear from your life. Someone tell me if i am wrong because fuck i would love to go on living a normal life and somehow forget what happened or just move on like that.
Sorry bout the language, just really REALLY ANGRY right now!
