I want to hide

Find some place safe
I want to shut down
Hide my face from the World

I know people can see it
These dirty memories I carry
People must know that I’m filthy
They must see the scars I so carefully try to hide

I want to close my eyes
Without reliving my past
I want to go to sleep
Without nightmares waking me in such fright

I keep praying
For the day when I walk on strong
I hope it comes soon
Because I’m so sick of living in my past

 Sorry Daddy

For all the times I made you mad
Sorry Daddy
I really was that bad

I did try really hard
I really wished to make you proud
But no matter how hard I tried
I always managed to let you down

What kind of person am I?
That my own father can not love me
I was never good enough
I’ve known that all along

Today is Father’s day
A day to celebrate the man who gave you life
But how can I do that?
When my Daddy knocked me around

I really miss my Daddy
A part of me hates him
Yet somehow I still love him
I guess that makes me kind of sick

Sometimes when I look in the mirror
I see my Daddy
I  have that same angry look
The one he always had

Sometimes I get scared
That Daddy will come after me
But mostly I am scared
That I will turn out like him

 I used to be your cousin

Your pretty little doll
You played with me all the time
I was your dirty little toy

I used to feel scared
Each time you made me bleed
You used to knock me around
Just to keep me afraid

You used to let me know I was yours
That part, I just didn’t have a choice
Your game, you made me play
You thought it was your right, and I had no say

Those years are all gone now
But those memories are still with me
I feel sick when I think of what you done
Because of you I feel dirty all the time

I want to move on
But you’re playing in my head
I want to move on
But I’m not sure if I can