Hello my darling brothers and sisters.

I just wanted to take a minute to tell you all that i am leaving pwp...and yes..it's because of david's new project. I don't know if M J did the abuse or not but there were too many instances and children brought to the front in his life.  I loved him and his music all my life and was devestated by those allegations...i even tried to give him the benefit of the doubt....but he never came through with logical or believable explanations. Yes it broke my heart.

I've read how all of you are feeling. PWP was a Godsend for me and i don't want to loose all of you...i just can no longer be a part of anything david does... i don't buy the statement that the money raised will go to pwp...i think i smell kathryn and joe jackson looking for money to keep their lifestyle going...i hope what money raised will be given to his children .

I love you all so much and want to thank you all for all you've given me. I will still be online...email is zifadedoda@gmail.com or you can reach me on facebook at zifadedoda @gmail .com. I don't want to loose you guys...i just can't do it here... but...i will always be there for you guys.

To my sweet shatteredsoul,mayasophia, and a special little one in canada...you know that you are in my heart forever...please contact me by fb or gmail.

To Surinder...you know how to find me little brother.  

Please, loved ones...use the email or fb acct to keep in touch...because i love you all so very much.  On fb...i'm barbara morgan haley. if you contact me there...please let me know it's you or i may not open it.

I thank God for this site and still do but i can't...after much prayer continue to deal with someone who would do what david is doing. I realize he needs to make a living...but that's not a commission he should have taken in light of his involvement here.

Know i wish you all nothing but happiness and healing..and please contact me if you need me.  I love you all so much and am devestated about the whole thing but this is what i feel i must do. PLEASE keep in touch with me via fb and email. I'll always get back to you.

i'm so grateful to each of you for the love and support during my time here and you all mean so very much to me....but i have to follow God's promting in this. It"s not that i don't like MJ music but the mystery and suspicion and his fleeing the country...............................

i'm not deleting my membership because i want that portrait done for us...and i want you guys to know that you all have touched me and helped me more than you will ever know...and you can always reach me. i am not deserting you guys;;...just this site.   please please please keep in touch through the other avenues open via fb and email. i always need you guys in my life. Stay strong for yourselves and all the brothers and sisters here...This site was never the problem...david's new progject is the problem...know that i love u all and i hope to hear from you.  No matter how much i loved him and his music...it was never proven  that he didn't do those things. To me, not begrudging david his livelyhood but i don't see how any $ raised in his new project can help pwp...nor do i think it should. If any money comes from this new project, i pray it goes directly to his children and that kathryn and joe can't get their hands on it....but i can't follow someone who is doing what david is doing...with all the suspiscion  surrounding MJ for so long... i just keep thinking..if it walks and talks like a duck...it must ge a duck. I know he had a horrible childhood but most or us did as well. RIP MJ...i know God has you dancing in heaven with elvis.

please keep in contact with me...barbara morgan haley is the facebook way and zifadeoda@gmail.com  

my love to you all and i coninue to pray and send good healing thoghts to you alll..now and always!  STAY STRONG!!!!!

as always...i wish you all

peace and love ro u all!

peace in your head, peace in your hearts, peace to your souls, peace to your physical being.

peace and all my love

z

I just read the message posted by betsnMEsanshope and would like to respond to it.  I tried to go to her profile and request a friendship but since it is marked as private, I decided to respect her wishes and not bother her.

This site is here because a kind person with talent, a desire to help and bring attention to this abuse, actually took action to try to help change things. Since most of the survivors here are women, it was refreshing to me to find out it was a man trying to help. I've been a member of the PWP family for a good while now and i am eternally grateful for David. It is a blessing to us that he took on such a massive project. I'm sure he knew that some would label him a voyeur or perv...yet his determination to help won the day.  I know that he can read the messages here...that's why he included the option to be private, to have your messages private. Not once during my time here have I ever heard or seen anything that would lead me to believe that his intentions were anything but honorable. I am proud to be one dot in his portrait. I am grateful that he took the time and interest.

As with any internet site, there will be those who have only the worst intentions. I have found one such person here and immediately cut ties. I am very careful who i trust but on the other side of that coin,,,i have found such a family of sisters and brothers here. I am sure there are people who read our stories and laugh, or make fun, or yes...even get their jollies from our pain. This is just another reason to bring our plight to the public forum. We hear about stopping abuse but nothing really ever gets done.  Pedophiles are released each day. I personally know of a pedophile just sentenced to ONLY 5 years for sexually abusing young girls in his care as a youth minister. As a survivor...THIS INFURIATES ME.  Those who are actually made to pay for hurting us only get a few years in prison, while we are left with a life sentence!  My heart breaks for each and every person on this site and my heart swells with pride when they are able to talk about it.  NO ENVIRONMENT IS COMPLETELY SAFE...we, who are survivors, know that better than anyone.

To betsnMEsanshope, I'm so sorry for your pain. Your anger is evident and probably well placed in daily life but to attack the artist helping us is not quite fair. Also, i would love to be your friend, and walk the walk of healing with you. We all walk together here and we leave no one behind. Your pain is evident in your post but suicide is not an option...ever. There are many young ones on here trying to find their way, through normal teen angst on top of the pain of being victims. Perhaps you were only intending to warn them to be careful but your words were frightening and detramental to any kind of healing and moving on.  I've worked hard to deal with my abuse as have all of us. I will protect this site's reputation with everything i am...from anyone who would hurt one of my sisters or brothers on here.

I'm not trying to start a fight or word war...i don't have the inclination nor the time for such foolishness. I just want you to understand that there is healing here, these are real people working on real problems and we all would love to include you in our family. We don't mind your anger, we feel it too. We don't mind your mistrust...we ALL know that feeling. To come to this site and just rag on it is not fair to those of us who truly care for other suvivors and for those of us who are trying to heal. This place is a home for us and we would love for you to be at home with us.  I don't know how to reach out to you any other way...than this public plea.  If someone here hurt you...tell us... if you just want to hate on David....go ahead with it...just leave it out of this forum. If you want to find friends who will never let you down in any way...good luck...it's not in the human nature...but if you want to try to become a part of those of us who are really trying to heal and to help others...then my arms are open...our arms are open.

If any of us find "fakers" on this site...we tell one another...and we will call you out.  The subject matter here is the deepest, most sensitive subject matter and we take each other and the wounds seriously. Please don't push away what could be the only people on earth who can truly understand you pain. Your story may be different...but the results are the same and we all understand that.

David....thank you again...from the rest of us...for your work on our behalf.

and to betsnMEsanshope................

i offer you my hand in friendship and my heart in understanding....we all do.

peace and love

z

Hey my brothers and sisters...just wanted to let you guys know that emotionally, today, i'm not up to dealing. I lost my lil dog of 20yrs yesterday afternoon and to those who are not animal lovers...the pain is as bad as loosing a family member...which indeed he was. He gave us 20yrs of joy and love and i miss him soooo very much already. the animal lovers here will understand why my emotions are not up to par to be any help here to you today.

i'll be back soon...but right now...i need a day or so to grieve.

you will all stay in my prayers...stay strong

peace and love

z

I've posted responses to some of the comments today and said some things that I hope and pray that i've not hurt or offended some of you. I love you all so very much and please know that anything i say is coming from my experiences and my heart. Some things i've said to some of you are probably hard to hear but i learned from a very good friend here that having to hear hard things from my pwp family are part of the healing. I try not to say the hard things...mostly because the thought of hurting any of you in any way would probably send me right over the edge. I just want to let you all know that if i said something that you didn't want to hear, it was not out of malice or not understanding where you are...I DO CARE AND I DO KNOW YOUR PAIN. I am walking this road with you and i guess if i have to pull someone kicking and screaming with me...well...i just want us all to heal...and i want this site to become unnecessary...i want there to be no more abuse in the world of any kind. Yeah, i know it's not going to happen but it doesn't keep me and all of us from trying to heal and make this all go away. Know that i love you all. and again..if i hurt or offended ...please forgive me.

peace and love

z

Welcome to all our new brother and sister survivors.  Here you will find a safe place...for your heart, head and spirit. You have found a family who truly understands your pain and fears. We will always be around to listen when you want to vent, to cry, to talk...whatever... You have found a home and we are glad you saw the light we left on for you! I am so honored to have the chance to get to know you and be your friend.!

Welcome to all our new brother and sister supporters...you have NO IDEA how much you mean to us.. There are new survivors joining every day...young and old, male and female, all creeds, all colors of skin, all lifestyles, all belief systems and oh so many young ones. I am overjoyed when a survivor finds the PWP family...and then there are days when we see...someone has joined as a supporter. These days lighten my heart more than you could ever know. To know that there are truly people out there who've not been abused but care enough to add their dot, their comments, their support. You have not idea how rare that is and how much your support toucheds each of us...thank you from the bottom of my heart.

humbled and grateful for all of you, survivors and supporters..

peace and love

z

It is a proud day for me. My beloved finally got around to signing up as a supporter and getting his dot. He does not want to be contacted as all of this is still very new for him. My sharing my story with him is still new and he is processing as best he can while still trying to support me in whatever way i need supporting at any given minute.  He will be reading to help him better understand me and what i go through but please dont ask him stuff. He's dealing with his own issues over my abuse...the helplessness, the anger etc. I just wanted to give him high fives for being a supporter. thanks for letting him lie low.

peace and love

z

Hey you guys and girls...

it's me again sorry;)  i have read some posts today that stop me in my tracks...take me back to hell...and bring me out again. I just hope you guys know and understand what an amazing and wonderful family we are here...

i'm so grateful for this site..for david...and for each of you and i will say it here as often as it overflows in my heart.

peace and love

z

Dear brothers and sisters of PWP.

I just need to say this so i'm going to. YOU GUYS MEAN SO VERY VERY MUCH TO ME! I have made so many friends here that I truly depend on each and every day...even if they are not here when i am...i know they are HERE if I NEED THEM. There are no word to express my thanks and love for all of you but especially for those who've been there with the serious to silly stuff...YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! All of you touch my heart and my soul in ways you could never expect and all of you..whether i stay in close touch or we touch base occasionally...............you are VERY SPECIAL PEOPLE TO ME and i keep you all in my prayers. I care not if you are a suvivor or supporter, male or female, athiest or christian, lesbian, gay or straight...YOU ARE MY PEOPLE AND I LOVE YOU! Please know that you mean something in this world..so when your world seems dark..remember...there are so many who love you and have never met you face to face...we love YOU...I LOVE YOU!

Yes...i am very proud to proclaim my love and devotion to my Lord and Savior Jesus... I'm not offended if you are not...

I just wanted to somehow put this all out there for you guys ....because....this is my safe harbor when i find no peace. I know there are folks here to hold me up...as i try to hold you all as well.  Sometimes ya just don't feel like the world cares...i KNOW...but my beloved ones...I CARE and i'm so proud to be a member of the coolest family. We have our problems for sure...that's why we are here...but we are oh so much more...we understand each others inner pain better than those outside  and we can fight if we must...laugh when we can and cry together if need be. We are...and THE WORLD WILL TAKE NOTICE OF US...

ok..you guys probably think i've totally lost my mind...lol...so be it... i never claimed to be totally sane;)

just know dear brothers and sisters...

YOU ARE SPECIAL

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL

I LOVE YOU ALL!

z

Dear ones...

I wanted to take a minute to just tell you all how very much each of you means to me. I never thought I would find such acceptance, love, and understanding...and the many wonderful relationships i've been blessed with through this site.

I don't always get a chance to message each of you..but know this...each of you is in my heart and my prayers each moment of each day.

You've given me a gift that i can never repay....and I just want you all to know how very much i appreciate it all...and all of you.

God has given me a HUGE BLESSING by letting me find..this site..david's wonderful spirit, friends who care, a place where i understand your pain as you understand mine. A place where i get constant encouragement and pray that i do the same for you.

I can't put into words the bursting feeling in my heart with love and respect for each of you...and for this site.

Stay strong dear ones...

peace and love

z

Hello my friends.........IT'S THE FIRST DAY OF SPRING!!  All the blooms are new! Warmth is coming! Sunshine! I want us all of us to use this day to make ourselves new by releasing what we can, facing what we think we can't and wrap ourselves in the warmth of the world waking up to new blooms and sunshine. WE CAN OVERCOME THE PAST, AND BRING OUT OUR TRUE SELVES JUST LIKE BUDS ON THE TREES...TO BECOME TO BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS GOD MEANT FOR US TO BE. YES...WE'VE ALL BEEN LIVING IN WINTER TOO LONG. LET'S BLOSSOM BOYS AND GIRLS. LOVE YOURSELVES AND BLOSSOM!

MY LOVE FOR YOU ALL WISHES

YOU PEACE FOR YOUR HEAD

         PEACE FOR YOUR HEART

         PEACE FOR YOUR SOUL

         PEACE FOR YOUR SPIRIT

         PEACE AND LOVE!

ZIF

I haven't gotten to read everyone's story yet...there are so many of us! Still, while i've been reading and thinking i wondered, not for the first time, if growing up in a family where "what happens at home stays in the home" attitude is condusive to not only making bigger targets for abuse from inside the home and out...but also...is it possible that this kind of family situation is another reason why we keep quiet.  just wondering...anyone have any thoughts on that?