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Posted 1 year(s) ago by SarahElizabeth
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5 comments
I was raped one year ago... I suppose I just haven't learned. Like my childhood abuser said,"I am a whore and I should be treated like one".
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by Sophie
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2 comments
Any one have any advise on how to love your self again??? I get about half way there then kinda dip back down to a nice bit of I have no self worth mentality. I am very much strugaling with geting over this hurdle. Any one else have the same issue???
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by speechless
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0 comments
Hello Everyone, As Chtristmas approaches I know it will be a difficult time for many of you,but I want you all to know that you are not alone. I was raped when I was 15 years old and I am now 61 and I still remember the hurt and emptiness I felt for many years,there was no place to go and express your inner most feelings and have swithomeone to share with that has been through the same horrible experience that I had. It took me years to realilze that it was not my fault,arap...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by speechless
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0 comments
Hello Everyone, As Chtristmas approaches I know it will be a difficult time for many of you,but I want you all to know that you are not alone. I was raped when I was 15 years old and I am now 61 and I still remember the hurt and emptiness I felt for many years,there was no place to go and express your inner most feelings and have swithomeone to share with that has been through the same horrible experience that I had. It took me years to realilze that it was not my fault,arap...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by babygirljen16
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1 comments
Alright everyone...last month I took my GED and have been waiting for my results. Yesterday I finally got them. Im proud to admit, I passed with flying colors. I am beyond happy. This is a HUGE step in the right direction for me :D My past pretty much causued me to flop out of school....so getting the GED just shows that im moving forward. Thanks for reading all :D Take care
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by nani
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been sooo long since ive wrote. so much happened in that time. i believe ive almost fully recovered from my past. my daughter is now 3 weeks shy of turning 4 years old. i also got married 2 weeks ago and went on a nice long vacation. been actively working for the past four months. i know its hard but i honestly let go of my past and can think about it n not cry anymore!! i thank god everyday for the strength he has given me. thank u for listening..
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by Cirdan
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2 comments
I was watching The Glee project today and when I saw emily's sign I started crying because it sums up how I feel.
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by babygirljen16
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1 comments
Hey everyone A few may know that a few months ago my boyfriend got here. Things have been amazing. I've honestly never been happier. At first I was sleeping more, eating more, and just flat out content. Even my nightmares had gone away for the most part. But for reasons I cannot explain or understand...my body is starting to sleep less and less...my nightmares are coming back. My boyfriend says its because im getting use to him being around me.....so my body is just going ba...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by iamsilentnomore1995
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3 comments
my rapist is such a stranger to me... who is he ? i barely remember him, and its about time too! ive waited and tried so hard to get here :) its astonishing to think that after the rape, i wanted to kill myself, as much as a family living in poverty want food. and horrible to think that i wouldnt be here if i hadnt of had the will power to stop when i did... to break my unhappiness, i changed my room around. i got a new bed, moved it around and filled my walls with photos...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by Cirdan
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1 comments
What is forgiveness? "It's not about saying what that person did was okay. It's about saying what that person did was wrong, labeling it as sin. How its effected me, but I'm willing to move on with my life. It's like cutting the cord from him, not feeling like I have to drag him around, not letting that effect everything in my future."- Author Nicole Braddock Bromley
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by JesusSavesMusicSpeaks
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1 comments
I don't know if I can say this out loud, so I'm going to type it. I've never had much luck with guys. Since my abuse as a child, I just didn't really trust them. I eventually had some really close guy friends, and then there were the few flings in high school and college with one actual relationship (under a year) in the mix. I've been told I'm the only person in the world who could ever think I'm not "gorgeous" and "beautiful," so I have to wonder what ...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by kickasscowgirl17
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sitting in the living room waiting for the people to trickle in to celabrate my birthday and everyones there and one person knocks on the door i have to open it to look at this man that is my ex-boyfriend and my babies daddy. i wanted so much to hit him and yell and i stood there in shock and i cried i just let loose of everything he did to me with a giant teddy bear in one arm and a card he remebered my birthday hes changed so much and now that hes back in ymlife i am still scared of him ev...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by precious
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So, over this holiday break i got to thinking a lot. I sat in my office at work and said im done torturing myself with my past. It happened, and i have to let go and move on. I was the VICTIM, yet my abusers seem to live a much happier life than I. So its a fresh new year, and with it comes new beginnings. I owe it to myself to make such changes to happen. I am no longer going to be ashamed of who i am. These emotional scars will never take control of me anymore. From to...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by kickasscowgirl17
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4 comments
well in the name of the new year, i forgive you Bryce. I no longer want to go on living this wound so as i heal i am forgiving you so many times its happend with you and i know its not right but i forgive you and i know that your going to get out of jail soon because well, you just are. i dont want you to think im weak i dont want you in my life or my sons. and for one thing i never want to see you again but Gunnison is your home town too and i ll just live with it ill be out of her...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by kickasscowgirl17
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1 comments
so im new on here but this website is for healing and i do want to heal i'v bottled it up for so long and my family doesnt know becuase well my family could send me back to the adoption unit anytime they feel so i am always at a temporary home till im 18 then i will live on my own or my with my biological brother the last member of my family left. my mom died of cancer, my dad i dont know who it is becuase after he got my mom knocked up he split from the family. my family used to cons...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by iamsilentnomore1995
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2 comments
ive lost sleep over you, ive hurt myself because of you, ive cryed and cryed because of you, ive considered some crazy things because of you, i have attempted some crazy things because of you, i have thought and thought about you, in my mind i have defended you, i kept quiet because of you, in real life i have gone against you, i have felt sorry for you, i put up with you, ive hated you, i have accused you, i accepted your horrible behaviour, i made excuses for ...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by Cirdan
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3 comments
Dogs are amazing. The other day I had a flashback and immediatly the family dog came up and sat down next to me. I was like she knew I was upset and scared and she wanted to comfort me.
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by babygirljen16
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7 comments
I really dont understand my Mother...like at all. She can be the meanest person on the planet more then half the time....yet when im sick....as sick as I am right now shes always right there I cant even talk anymore, my throat is so bad...I cant breath like at all...and its getting to the point where my coughs are coming out silent, apart from wheezing Throughtout everything with my mental health though..shes not really been to much into it.....almost doesnt believe it.... But wh...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by Cirdan
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2 comments
I love to write and was thinking of writing a superhero short story with a sexual abuse survivor being the main character. Another thought was that his partner could be his best friend who is raped part of the way through and he just barely doesn't make it to her in time to prevent it. but I am not sure I have the guts to actually write it.
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by silenceisdeadly
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4 comments
Well I haven't been on in a long time because I would read so many depressing stpries ad it would make me even more depressed knowing what you guys go through everyday and I can't fix it. So I took a break, but I'm back! So here's an update for anyone who cares or even remembers me... Well my neighbor still gave me trouble after everything, at one point he followed me on the highway and tried to hit me. But he finally moved, thank goodness! But his memory never seem...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by poshlily
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1 comments
I just wanted to share with anybody reading my messages a few places I would go to escape the swirling events in my mind from my abuse. I didn't get to travel a whole lot, so I went to the following websites to visit places I've never been to, www.webshots.com . There are wallpapers and screensavers that are very soothing. It is a community sharing website. Also, when I need to hear music, my favorite station is www.last.fm . And for artwork on body ...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by littlechicky
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1 comments
One of my friends just posted this on Facebook and I wanted to share it here... "Depression is NOT a sign of weakness, it is a sign you have been trying to be too strong for too long. Copy and paste this if you know someone who has, or has had depression. Most people won't, but as 1 in 3 will suffer at some point in their lives.... Show your support xx"
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1 comments
the deaf will hear more than the blind, and the blind will see more than the deaf, and the mutes will learn knowledge no one else is able, for they can just listen...never talk... so really, who should be felt sorry for?
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by Ducttapedrose
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6 comments
I can't speak for everyone, but I feel that it is a safe assumption that most--if not all--of us have been attacked by people. I don't mean in the ways that brought us here, I mean in verbal and emotional ways. I don't think I am the only one who has been called melodramatic, or a drama queen, or a liar, or a [insert derogatory word for woman who sleeps around. They all fit in here.] I have been called a cow, and I have been called an idiot. I have had people attack my intelli...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by Violet
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18 comments
Ok first off I want to say this... WE ARE ALL ENTITLED TO OUR OWN OPINIONS!!!!! If I want to say I think Micheal Jackson did molest some child, that's my opinion, if I think he didn't, well again it's my opinion. No 2 opinions are 100% the same, and no opinion is ever 100% true either. There are 3 sides to a story, person "A"s side, person "B"s side, and the truth. It's possible one of their sides is more accurate than the others possibly even 99% true. But ho...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by wouldyoulikeahug
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5 comments
Hey :) Just found this facebook group called 'overcoming sexual abuse'. Although I haven't joined, it's helped to read it. Thought people might like to see it? http://www.facebook.com/pages/Overcoming-Sexual-Abuse/163042156575?ref=nf#/pages/Overcoming-Sexual-Abuse/163042156575?v=info&ref=nf
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by chargerbandnerd
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1 comments
The reality is that everything i have been involved with that has some sexual intention had always ended bad. Infact, it has deveoped a pattern, the pattern being males and sex. My therapist says that this pattern is dangerous and that he fears for my life. The following is my pattern: It starts in 2008: March 2008- I talk with a boy over text message, a boy i have known two and a half years. He harrases me to send him nude photos, i dont. He asks me to sneak into his...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by paulam
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2 comments
HI, I just wanted to take this opportunity to say Thank You to all the wonderful people on this site, Thank you for making me feel welcome ever since I joined here and thank you to those who added me as a friend. I also want to say thank you for all your support and caring , and I want to wish every one on this board a very Happy Christmas and I hope 2010 will bring happines, peace and healing into all of your lives, With hugs and best wishes, Paula xoxoxo
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by ChristineW
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6 comments
i'm searching to remember. i know it happened, i know something happened. but i just can't remember the time or place. you may think i'm crazy, if i can't remember, it probably didn't take place. please don't call me crazy, i get enoguh of it from myself. if God could just reveal to me, i would accept it if He only showed me what really took place. but until then this is the memory stuck in its place. if this was real then why am i just now remembering? ...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by jackieos49
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0 comments
Why do we say things that are making us unhappy???????? I can't do that you know what you just did?You just set your self up to not being able to do something.We really need to stop..You can make your self in to believing that you can't of course we can.just do it. If you said it did you really mean it???? If you didn't mean it why do you even go there...Most of the time because we want to hurt some one because that's the way we where brought up.. I guess what I...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by LindsayMiller
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9 comments
So I've been noticing a lot of things about myself lately. One that actualyl has been bugging me a lot lately is the dislike/fear of being without clothes. I don't even like taking showers that's how bad it is. I've nener had this problem before. It's only started within the last year or so.. I can't figure it out. It's kid of like how I didn't bcome afraid of baloons until I was fiteen, and now I am pretrfied of them. I can barely hold myself together...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by demii
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2 comments
mommy im sorry... im sorry you have to sit and hold me when i cry. knowing that you can't make the pain go away.. and you can't give me the answers i long for, im sorry mommy, i know i shouldn't be, but i am, i don't want to hear you in the bathroom at night, asking yourself why my baby? i want to know that too mommy, :( but we won't because he won't tell us why he hurt me, im...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by crackerjack
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2 comments
how do we explain to people all is not right. how do i explain what's really going on inside when i don't know half the time. they say they are there for me. that's fine but they see me as doing great with my act together. how do i explain that things are going bad inside. how do i get them to understan i don't know how to make it go away. my aunt says call her any time i need her. i know i could but she doesn't understand she sees me as having my life together. it&#...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by Blueyedraven
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2 comments
i seem to trust the wrong people...something while i was abused re-wired me....now i don't know who to trust...funny huh?
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by wichkid
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1 comments
I look at my friends list,and I realize I have so many wonderful people on this list that it is hard to keep in contact on a regular basis. Just know that each and every one of you are special to me. I will always be here for you. I may not have an answer if you ask for advise, but I have a good ear for listening.If I haven't spoken to you directly in a while, it doesn't mean I have forgotten you. Peace to you all, and to the new friends yet to be added to my list. Kevin
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by wichkid
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3 comments
My cousin sent this to me in an e mail. I felt I needed to share it here. Four things you can't recover: The stone........after the throw. The word........after it's said. The occasion........after it's missed. The time.........after it's gone. Knock, Knock I knocked at heaven's door this morning. God asked me...'My child, what can I do for yo...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by discoveringthenewme
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5 comments
I was reading facebook bumper stickers and found one that I thought was really funny. I decided to change it to make a new name for "asshole", the 'it' that raped me. It's new name is now "ankle" because an ankle is 3 feet LOWER than an asshole.... Just thought I'd try and spread a smile. I hope everybody is doing as well as they can be!! -d
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by nani
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1 comments
such a warm and beautiful day. relaxing here on my sofa with my laptop on my lap.enjoying a hobby(writing), while my daughter watches dora the explorer and eats gerber cookies and drinks juice. its truly AMAZING the days that i can just sit back and relax and not worry.i day bream alot about wat my life would be like if i didnt have to worry. today is perfect for a walk by a lake. or relaxation on the warm beach sand.. as i sit and watch the leaves on the trees sway from the wind...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by zifadedoda
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3 comments
Dear ones...just wanted to stop and let you all know how much i love and need you all. Since my internet was down for a month, i've fallen a bit behind so to those who've joined as survivors...WELCOME...I'm glad you are here. To the supporters...THANK YOU WITH ALL MY HEART. I've been catchin up on reading messages and the pain and horror still shocks me...my own story pales in comparrison to some of the stuff i'm reading. Please know that each member here feels fo...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by Guinevere1
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4 comments
I have been at least 80 pounds overweight for the last 10 years, and now that I'm starting to heal I wonder if there is a bigger reason why I could never seem to lose the weight. I am a person who loves loves loves to exercise. I am also a person who seems to gain weight easily, so one weekend of eating too much can make a big jump on the scale. Am I maybe sabotaging my efforts in order to keep my armour on? Is that what all this fat is? Maybe deep down I thought that the more undesi...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by wichkid
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4 comments
I wonder sometimes how we each came up with our screen names for the various websites we visit.I have used my screen name, wichkid, for over 15 years.It is on every site from ebay to pwp.Sometime back I was in a discussion about how abused children have thier childhood stolen from them.I suddenly realized that I was asking for mine back without realizing it. In my own screen name I was calling myself a KID.This bothered me for a while until I decided I didn't need my childhood back. I h...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by wichkid
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2 comments
I find Points with Purpose To be an exciting and crucial project for survivors. I have shared this site with other male survivors, and have had some mixed reactions. I would like to address this.Several men I have talked to felt the portrait didn't fit for males because the portrait is female. I read the comment about empowerment on the site next to the update, and I feel that is more important than the gender of the portrait. We all need to take back our selves.in this res...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by Clonesfan
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4 comments
Hey Peeps-just wanted to thank everyone for the birthday wishes! I had a pretty good day yesterday! Had a therapy appt. today and got a little more off my chest and for my birthday my wife and kids got me a wonderful gift although I went through a lot of pain, I have to say I absolutely love it. I got a tattoo to represent my life-I got the tragedy and comedy masks on my back and after all the pain of feeling my spine vibrate and my neck bone gettin dug into- I love it and thank my family he...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by silenceisdeadly
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2 comments
First, watch this video my church put out. Relate it to yourself and take something from it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wz41YxNiHEg You and I, all of us, we are strong. We are strong because of what we've been through. We are strong because we all went through something so traumatic and yet it happened, we lived through it, and God would never give His children anything we couldn't handle. So that is why we have had these things happen to us. Because we are th...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by strugglinghealinghopeing
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5 comments
Think of it this way ! When you fall , you can get back up and prove youre strong! When you loose something , You wernt ment to find it . When you loose touch with someone, they wernt good enough to be in your future! When you fall in love , and it doesnt work out , you learn to love more next time. When someone dies , you learn to cherish people while they are there to love. When you fail , you get an...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by Rebecca
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Well I thought it was time for an update since it was 2 years ago since I wrote that last entry. Things are still hard, but some things have changed. One thing is when I think of what happened to me I still feel upset and depressed about it, and often scared, but more often I get a horrible sickening feeling and remembering the situation makes me want to physically throw up, I feel ill just thinking about it right now. It was never like that before. Maybe this is a new stage in working throu...
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Posted 4 year(s) ago by LindsayMiller
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3 comments
There are a lot of people in my life that have helped me become the person I am today. Mainly my parents and my siblings. This video is a tribute to some of the people who have helped make me me, and I appreciate them with my entire being. They have been my supporters, and have helped me get through a lot of the hard times, and some of the worst times when all I wanted to do was give up. When it comes to getting through things, I rely deeply on the people around me to help me get through ...
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Posted 4 year(s) ago by LindsayMiller
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3 comments
So I had been planning a Child Abuse Awareness event since the end of february. And we managed to pull it off, and it was a success. Unfortunately, towards the end of the event, while in the midst of singing one of my theSadieproject songs, which is solely about my abuse, who should so happen to pass by? Why my abuser decided to. I'm pretty sure it was unintentional, but never the less. It messed me up something awful, and it toook everything in me to not beat the pulp out of hi...
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Posted 4 year(s) ago by LindsayMiller
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3 comments
So my brother came to visit while I've been spending a few days with one of my fellow survivors in my support circle. This woman I love to death. Sometimes I don't think she realizes the true impact she has on my life. She's helped me through most of the hardest times these last few years. Her and her children have been such a huge part of my life. She is my Mama-Bear. That's what I call her. Mama-Bear was introduced to me and my siblings when I was about 12. She an...
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