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Posted 1 month(s) ago by Kirsti
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My wounds are not for you to see Although I wish you knew Without the grief that hollows me What holds me back from you It isn’t want of hope or faith For these I still possess But muted love that lies too deep To summon and express You hear the dreams that end in screams And tolerate my pain With fortitude you grace the mood That I can not restrain And that same mood can make me brood On all that I have lost My friends, my youth, ...
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Posted 4 month(s) ago by HelloHollie
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With hell above and heaven below We don’t really know which road we’ll go Down a path, maybe dusty and dull Or maybe someplace we don’t really know Some people have scars From the demons within Show me yours and I’ll kiss your skin Some have scars within their hearts As their demons are ripping, Tearing them apart I’ll take you someplace, Somewhere safe, Hold my hand, We’ll take our own pace Nowhere to hide, Nowhere to go, C...
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Posted 9 month(s) ago by UnforgivingLove
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2 comments
"Could you honestly love someone who lies?" I was recently asked this, as a reflection of myself. Not just myself, but also of my past actions. You want an honest answer? Yes, I could. Given the right reasons as to why they did. And under certain circumstances, most certainly. Was it done maliciously? Was it done spitefully? If it was done to cause hurt to someone else, You`re right. I can`t. What I`ve found, though It`s not as simple as, "Oh, they lied. That means ...
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Posted 11 month(s) ago by wondergirl
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1 comments
I look at your pictures often But I know that won’t bring you back But it makes me feel a little closer It helps me keep your memory close There’s so many things I never got to say like how you touched my soul Or just how much you mean to me Or sadly I never got to say goodbye or hug you one last time I will always be thankful for having a friend like you You gave so much to the world & expected nothing in return You have such a beautiful soul...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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2 comments
I’m sorry for the way I act I never meant to hurt you I don’t know why I do it But the pain feels great and I can’t stop You see the pain is addictive to me It’s a distraction from my mental state Some may say I’m crazy I wish that made me stop I started long ago I picked up my very first blade Now I can’t put it down My mind is such a mess I don’t expect you to understand But sometimes I wish you’d try I k...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by hannahmariestegall
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Its coming its time. These last days of goodbye. Dont let anyone know. Your going to let go. See the blood. Feel the pain. Silence roaring in my ears. take it in. Take your last breathe. Slowly fade away. Look at the blood. Spread a message. Goodbye its says. Concentrate you need to concentrate on the pain. Leaving go to your world. Leave this place. Leave this hell. Goodbye. Take each breathe like its your last. O wait it is. Goodbye. Vision fading slowly. Goodbye. blood everywhere, pain fe...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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2 comments
Dear Mummy I often wonder why you never loved me the way you should have I don’t understand how you let Daddy beat me to the ground Why did you let him hurt me? Why didn’t you save me from him? I often ask myself, why you never did anything when you found my blood stained underwear Was I not important enough? Was I unworthy of your love? Why wasn’t I special enough? Was I just never good enough? How come you never asked me about my bruises? How come...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by momo
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tears they follow me they run down my skin they seep through all my strength tears i cant stop them there always there show up everywhere tears i want them to go away to leave me in my pain tears i want them to be happy tears
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by hannahmariestegall
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4 comments
Are you okay? so many people ask this question and so many people lie about the answer. Am i okay? i guess you can say that. im still alive. i still put a smile on my face. and i still have an okay life. But you arent asking this question. No what you yourself is asking is are you gonna be able to deal with another stressful day. Are you gonna be able to stand not crying when your about to breakdown. Are you going to be able to do everything normal when nothing is normal a...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by babygirljen16
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4 comments
I lost you before I could even meet you Before I could hold you in my arms and kiss away tears.... Before I could see those beauitul eyes or hear that sweet laugh.... I lost you And I miss you. I miss how June 24th and Febuary 14th will never be the same Because they are the days I lost you, and the day I should have had you I miss the chance I could have had when you were born.... The life you WOULD have had.....but wont. And I hate that I didnt protect that...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by hannahmariestegall
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6 comments
i hate this i feel so use.i feel useless.but i cant stop its like my own nicotine. its so horrible.i die inside everytime.i freeze the only word that comes out is yes.cant they see im a broken doll nothing is left of me.i wanna cry but i cant its weakness. i wanna hurt myself but thats also weakness.why am i like this why cant i stop.i know he destoryed me but i should be able to speak.im treated like crap but i take it cause i like it. thats not normal im not suppose to.but i do.im so disgu...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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1 comments
She in the guest bedroom Just sitting on the floor She’s playing with toy cars When he enters the room She hears the door click His locked it behind She suddenly feels scared She knows what he wants He picks her off the floor And throws her down on the bed She feels her heart race Its happening again Her eyes water up But the tears just won’t fall She looks around the room She doesn’t want to see his face She passes a glimpse at him ...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by hannahmariestegall
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1 comments
i look into the mirror. i see the little girl so full of laughter and cheer. little does she know a monster is near. i stare at my broken reflection. what happened to that little girl her eyes full of life,her smile full of love,her soul full of fire. the life she once knew now a stranger to her. she crys at what she has become. who would dare keep this child from knowing innocence. i look at my broken reflection. i hit it not wanting to see what i am. blood ...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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She’s dying Why can’t anyone see she’s crying Her head is to the floor She can’t get up no more She’s losing control She grabs all her pills She swallows them all She doesn’t want to see another day Sirens are getting loud They have come to save her life But she doesn’t understand She never asked to be saved They move in quick She must get to a hospital They take her away She doesn’t even have a say The g...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by SCA
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2 comments
Alone I open my eyes It is dark Is there anything there? Is there anyone there? I close my eyes it is dark I open them It is as dark as when they were closed There is noone there I am alone!
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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1 comments
I need a doctor I want to swallow pills And make this life end Call my psychologist The pain is too much I can’t keep holding on Help me I’m losing control Please let me go Swallow Pills Forget the life you have This is the end I’m fading Can’t you see Death is beating me Pass me a blade I need to see the blood pour I need this pain to end I’m sorry To leave you with this pain But this is the end
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by hannahmariestegall
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im falling,passing scenes of you. hearing your voice as i search for the light. your cooing me, saying the pain is gone. i will not have to suffer anymore. i do not believe in you though.instead i scream, i fight, and i cry. i try to break free of these chains that withhold me. finaly i fall into the depths of the ocean. water starts to fill my lungs. i gasp for air instead i drown with guilt.your voice scolds me,for i did not come. i see fire, my skin starts to burn. im dragged by ...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by Sonic
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2 comments
This is my first poem in English, hope it's decent Good night, sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite. If they do Hit them with a shoe Until they turn black and blue. Close your eyes Lie in the dark Think of all the lies That from others set you apart. What you’ll tell others if they ask ‘Did you cry?’ What you’ll tell yourself to help you get by The smile you&rsqu...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by MeganGracie
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I'm dancing with death late into the night, The darkness embraces me, the end is in sight. Dark thoughts fill my head but I feel no fear, They comfort and calm me as death draws me near. An end to my suffering feels seductive, alluring, And I lose the will to wake up in the morning. As death pulls me closer he whispers in my ear Words that are soothing, that I've been longing to hear; "There's no need to worry, I'll take away your pain, And...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by jesswikka
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1 comments
I suddenly feel a lot better and I'm not entirely sure why. i realised this morning that before all the abuse, I was very happy, and loved all my fantasy artwork and books. Since the abuse happened, I have become very cynical, and gone nowhere near anything that does not resemble realiy as I see it. I feel like I lost 16 year old me, along with most of my personality in all the mess somewhere and have just been surviving until I fetch them back and can become completely me again. *shrug...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by UnforgivingLove
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4 comments
This is an old diary entry I found that I wrote over a year ago. I just thought I might share it. I won`t be impatient. I won`t be greedy. I won`t give up. Because everyone takes things step by step. I`m not the only one in pain. Not having others understand, not understanding others, both of those are awful. My life is like a blossoming flower. From the start of my youth, I want to have no regrets and treasure it. [friend], in my heart, there always exists the [friend] th...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by gabriella
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3 comments
A river so clear and calm. You would not believe, The secrets it hides, Beneath the surface. The hurt and trauma, It has faced. Oh but its all calm. Its just a mask, Remove it. Its dirty and erupting, With anger and emptiness. It only wants to be 'normal'. Oh why, oh why can't it be.
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by Tayla
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1 comments
Im not coping with the rape, living at home, school grade 11 (kicked out of 2 classes in the last week), due to give birth in 6 weeks, being along, havnt slept in a week, cant talk to anyone want it all to be over. trying to help my mum with everything and she dosnt appriciate anything i do, i babysit 6 out of 7 days a week. thats baby sitting 5 kids
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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I want to hide Find some place safe I want to shut down Hide my face from the World I know people can see it These dirty memories I carry People must know that I’m filthy They must see the scars I so carefully try to hide I want to close my eyes Without reliving my past I want to go to sleep Without nightmares waking me in such fright I keep praying For the day when I walk on strong I hope it comes soon Because I’m so sick of living in my p...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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Sorry Daddy For all the times I made you mad Sorry Daddy I really was that bad I did try really hard I really wished to make you proud But no matter how hard I tried I always managed to let you down What kind of person am I? That my own father can not love me I was never good enough I’ve known that all along Today is Father’s day A day to celebrate the man who gave you life But how can I do that? When my Daddy knocked me around I really ...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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1 comments
I used to be your cousin Your pretty little doll You played with me all the time I was your dirty little toy I used to feel scared Each time you made me bleed You used to knock me around Just to keep me afraid You used to let me know I was yours That part, I just didn’t have a choice Your game, you made me play You thought it was your right, and I had no say Those years are all gone now But those memories are still with me I feel sick when I think ...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by iamsilentnomore1995
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wow... i feel so empty. i dont feel the pain anymore :( i either want to feel the mental pain, or i dont want to remember him, but instead im stuck in the middle where he is just a distant memory and i dont feel anything. he really hurt me and i want to remember that and make myself feel angry, because otherwise, im like i am now, where i just dont feel anything, and i dont think that its right because it makes me think that ive forgiven him :'(
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by babygirljen16
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1 comments
Some days I feel okay... Others I just hurt Whether flashbacks that make me flinch Or nightmares that keep me up I think I can handle them Until they sneak up on me And then they hurt all the same I cry and I cry as I try to fight the pain Wishing I was strong enough to make it go away Another day of panic... Another night without sleep... I hope one day they stop... :( _______________________________________________________________________________________...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by nikkyflower
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1 comments
I understand now Daddy, Why you left so long ago, Mommy is an evil person, Addicted to the bottle. I'm leaving too Daddy, Cause I hate it here. She looks at me with disgust, So I'll just disappear. I'm just a failure to her, She'll be happier this way. She wants me to leave, She tells me everyday. So I'll be like you Daddy, And leave without a sound. Because eve...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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I can see them I can feel them I think it’s happening again This is all too real I’m really scared I jump in the shower I feel so dirty I must remove the smell of them I must get clean somehow I scrub and I scratch away at my skin I cover myself in lots of body wash But I still feel dirty I am so fucking dirty I think they are here with me It feels all too real They must be here I can feel them touching me Why won&rsquo...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by MeganGracie
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4 comments
There's a picture of a girl In a beautiful heart-shaped frame That I keep next to my bedside Lest I forget her name. Her hair was sleek and shiny, Her eyes were bright and blue, Her rosebud lips were smiling, Her innocence shone through. The day that photo was taken The sun lit up the sky, Her laughter abundantly filled the room, There was a twinkle in her eye. Her happiness and friendliness Were a joy to those she met...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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1 comments
Take me away Away from this pain Take me some place safe Please, won’t you save me from myself Flashbacks They won’t leave me alone I can feel their dirty touch It’s making me feel sick and afraid I want to take a blade And watch my blood pour out But I couldn’t cut deep enough To erase all my pain I want to swallow pills I don’t want to take another breath I just want to fade away Just make myself go away ...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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1 comments
Fuck you Ana For controlling me the way you have Fuck you Ana For stealing the life that I once had Fuck you Ana I was never fat like you said I was Fuck you Ana My body is my own Fuck you Ana For all the lies you made me believe Fuck you Ana You’re not controlling me from this moment on Fuck you Ana For making me afraid of food Fuck you Ana I don’t need you anymore Fuck you Ana You can’t control me like you have Fu...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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1 comments
Scars They cover my arms and legs Each one tells a story Of a broken little girl They tell of a time When my body was not my own They tell of a time When my innocence was taken away They’re all so ugly Just like the stories behind them They all represent a part of my life And all the pain that I feel You must think I’m crazy For taking a blade in my hand But the memories haunt me all the time And cutting is my escape It&rsquo...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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I was so young I was only a child But I wasn’t a kid at heart As you stole my innocence away You left me drowning Unable to reach the surface You left me in fear No place feels safe I don’t know how you sleep at night Knowing what you did was wrong How can you live with yourself? After stealing away from a child The memories have lingered on They haunt me all the time I feel so much pain I can’t forget the things you done ...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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Videos of you Keep me up in the night Leave me in the pain Of my four year old self I feel sick When I see you in my mind I feel afraid As your touch feels so real I scrub my skin really hard But I can’t remove the smell of you I feel dirty because of you It doesn’t matter what body wash I use I bang my head against a wall &...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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2 comments
Your tiny little heart Used to beat inside A precious little baby The World never got to know I cried the day you left me A shattered mess I was God took you up to Heaven To be with him instead I know you’re loved there I know you’re really safe But I still miss you every single day I hope I meet you some day But for now my little Angel Know that I love you
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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I have a dream That I will swallow lots of pills And never wake again I can’t fight no more The memories are too real The pain is too much I have an obsession I want to close my eyes And fade out of the World I was eight years old When I first wanted to die I guess some things never change I wish I wanted life Because then no one else will hurt But it feels like I’ll never mend They say that time will heal But how long do...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by MeganGracie
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It can't have really happened Not to me Not in real life Can it? I can't speak the word The "R" word The word that didn't happen At least, not to me. I'm sure if it had happened People would have noticed But they haven't So it can't be true. Perhaps I dreamt it Or made it up for attention Only no-one else knows So that can't be right. But it can't be true Because...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by Katt207
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2 comments
It was a night like this. The rain was heavy, and the lightning was bright. It was a night like this where everything changed, and it was about to change again. She was a popular girl. Always had friends by her side and always had someone to talk to. She was one of the brightest people you could have ever met. She could tell you anything about everything and was never stereotyped as a geek or a...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by gabriella
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I try not to think, It is been almost a year, I have changed, But my past has not, I try not to want it, It will hurt me more, I do not want to enter this vicious circle again, But it is playing on my heart, I try not to give up, It is not working, I get into a dangerous mood, But will i give in, I try not to, It takes all the strength i have, I am still thinking about it, But i start distracting myself, ...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by gabriella
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sometimes it can feel like your the past is the past, but then just in that moment, it all comes back, all the hurt, all the pain, it hits you when you least expect it, and then you have to re deal with it all, if you let yourself get down, you risk the chance of going back to that vicious circle, it is very scary, you do not wan to go back there, but it looks like thats where i am going, back to that vicious circle, hurting myse...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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You played me well You made me feel special You made me feel loved You made me feel protected You called me your girl You said I was the most beautiful girl in the World You said you loved me more than anything else You promised me that you'd keep me safe You said we should wait for sex As you did not want to take advantage of me And set me off So I'd have to convince you that you weren't You became so c...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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I can't make sense of my head So many thoughts run through my mind Thoughts of self-harm, thoughts to die All of the memories from my past I feel so stupid I feel so pathetic I am 19 years old And they still control me now I can still see them I can still smell them I can even still feel them It's too real in my mind How could they do that to a child? How could you do that to your cousin? How could you ...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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1 comments
I made a mistake I was feeling angry And I reached for a blade Instead of the phone I placed the blade on my arm I pressed down really hard I swiped the blade across my skin And watched my blood pour out Now I have stitches To heal the wounds I made But it won't heal completly It's going to leave me with some scars I still felt like cutting The urge was very strong But I didn't have a blade So I...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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I gave inn I banged my head I know I shouldn’t have But then I did I just wanted an escape I needed an escape I was seeing awful things They were playing in my head I guess I failed Because I hit my head I should have asked for help sooner But I guess I was too weak Claire is like an Angel She put a smile upon my face She helped me to escape Even if only for a while ...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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1 comments
Daddy's mad again It's clear if you hear his voice His yelling and screaming at mum I guess I must have been bad again I'm hiding in my closet Trying to make myself small Trying to make myself disappear Wishing I was never born I hear his footsteps approaching Each step gets louder as you draw near I hold my teddy really close Praying that it will be okay I shrink at his shadow I cover my mouth Tea...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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2 comments
I'm sorry Daddy I never meant to make you made I'm sorry Daddy That I really was that bad I know you wish I was never born Daddy I do wish that as well I know you think I was never good enough Daddy I know that just as well I hope you know I tried really hard I tried to be good I tried to make you proud But I was never good enough I used to be your princess Your special little girl But then I screwed up And I was no longer Daddy's lit...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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1 comments
I was your pretty little doll You were my cousin I was an easy target Just a tiny little girl You used to lock the door behind you You placed me on that bed You took off all my clothes You stripped away my innocence You did just as you pleased I never said one word I tried to stare upon a wall I tried to escape my body I didn't know what you were doing But I knew it really hurt What made you take so much from me? What made you think it was your...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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I know you want me to stay But I just want to go I want to close my eyes And never wake up again I'm so sick of feeling pain It stabs me in my heart I never asked to be born But I ask to fade away All the memories are too much They follow me around They remind me I'm not worth it That I never really was I know that you love me And yes I love you too But being here hurts too much And leaving is my only escape So I say goodbye to you An...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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You tell me you love me But they're only words The pain you caused me Tell my otherwise You abandoned me You caused me pain You were never there When I needed you most You never protected me Even when there were signs You never held me close You let me fend for myself Don't tell me your sorry now Because there only words And because there from you I know there only lies
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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Theres a gun in my hand You don't understand Therers a gun in my hand Please let my life end I can't get better Can't you see I've tried all the drugs I've tried getting help Why do they save me? I never asked to be saved They should have ended life support Not bought my life back I'm a ticking time bomb Theres no more life in my It''s just a matter of time Until death creeps its way inn
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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I'm dead Not that you can see I'm dead on the inside There's no life in me I'm so disconnected I don't want to feel pain But then flashbacks come inn And I relive everything all over again I'm self destructive I'm killing myself I self harm my body In hope this will end I'm fading away I starve my body I eat little food I can't risk gaining weight I always dreamed of being safe Away from the abuse ...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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I want to bang my head I want to punch a wall I want to take a blade And watch my blood pour I want to bite my arms I want to inflict pain I want to feel a different pain Than the pain I feel inside I feel so many emotions I can't explain them all I feel like I'm going crazy Yet no one else can tell I'm scared to be alone I'm so scared of myself I'm so self destructive I'm slowly killing myself I just want to esca...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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They say things get easier That time heals everything But how long do I have to wait For the pain to ease The memories haunt me everyday They won't leave me alone They say to leave the past behind But mine follows me around Is there really hope for me? Can I really be free? If theres really a chance for me How long should I wait? I feel like I deserve to be here Like I deserve this pain I feel so unworthy of this life I wonder if thats true ...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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She's fat She's ugly She's staring back at me She's stupid She's pathetic She's worth absolutely nothing She's crying She's hurting She don't know how to cope She's shaking She's scared She's dangerous to herself She's lost She's dying She's my own reflection
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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Don't care for me You will only be hurt Don't try to save me My life can't be saved I hate myself Thats the truth Don't love me I'm not worth the time I want to go I wish I didn't But lifes too hard And I won't survive I've tried fighting I really have But I guess I've given up now And it's only a matter of time
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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Doors bang I shake It reminds me of you It reminds me of fear I can see you even now I can even feel your touch It's cold, it's unwanted It won't leave me alone How can you feel so real even now? How can you follow me around? Those years are gone Yet it feels just as real now Will I always jump When I hear a door slam Will I always see you When I lay down on my bed I try to remind myself That you are only a memory But...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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Daddy You said a lot of things to me You said you loved me You said I'd made you proud Daddy I don't know what to believe from you You never said these words once before Instead you told me, I should have never been born Daddy I'm sorry for all those times I made you mad I'm sorry you hut me because I was bad But more than anything, I'm sorry I won't allow you around Daddy I wish things were differerent I wish things ne...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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The past is the past It should just be that But to me it is more I'm so afraid Not sure who to trust Don't know what place is safe I want to be free Just want to run away Find a place I feel safe So many trigger Loud noises and bands So many scary places I don't want to relive it Yet I do everyday The past lingers on I don't want to wake up Just want to close my eyes And never come back I try to see the future Look...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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I believe I can fly Learn to spread my wings I can be free Everybody needs some help Someone they can trust They need a helping hand There's Angels around us To help get us by To help keep us safe When you feel afraid Grab ahold of your Angel For they will never leave your side Believe in yourself Believe you can fly There's no mountain too high
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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I'm sorry Daddy For all those times I made you mad I'm sorry Daddy For everything that I done bad I'm sorry Daddy That I was never good enough I'm sorry Daddy I could not make you proud I'm sorry Daddy I did try really hard I'm sorry Daddy I never meant to make you sad I'm sorry Daddy I never meant to let you down I'm sorry Daddy I wish that was enough
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by Iluv2smile
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3 comments
Never judge a book by its cover...for it's the content inside that tells the real story. Words may not break bones, but they do break hearts! Never let negative people bring you down. Remove them from your life. They aren't worth it.
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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2 comments
Look at you Pretending like nothing is wrong Acting as though you're okay Trying to fool yourself everyday Look at you You're smiling on the outside But you're eyes tell me you're crying That you're dying inside Look at me, it's not you I walk around with a fake smile I lie to everyones face, saying I'll be okay I'm breaking within but I'm too afraid to ask for help
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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Please don't care for me You will only be hurt Please don't care for me I just want to go Don't try to convince me to stay I'm already dead inside Don't try to convince me to stay My life is unworthy to be saved I'm sorry If this hurts you I'm sorry I ain't that strong Please try to remember You saved my life everyday Please try to remember You gave me a reason to smile ...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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We always need heroes To keep us alive To lift up our soul To help us to fly We always need heroes When we are down When we feel frightened When we can't get off the ground We always need heroes To helps us to smile To cuddle us tight To make us feel special I have my hero She has saved my life so many times She has made me smile from my heart She has made me feel so warm inside I have my hero ...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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No escape from this pain I try so hard to stay alive I just want to say goodbye Instead of lying on the ground No escape I've tried it all The pills, the drugs But I still feel dead inside No escape From the past The flashbacks taunt me How can it feel so real even now? I'm disconnected I'm so numb inside I bang my head on the ground I take a blade in my hand No amount of blood that pours Will wipe away the pain I feel Wh...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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You were never there When I hit the ground You were never there When my tears fell You were never there When they beat me to the floor You were never there When I was innocent and small You never even asked When the bruises were there You never even asked When you found blood stained underwear You were never there To hold my hand through the pain You were never there To cuddle me when I was scared Y...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by BlueroseSilentTears
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Courage Images of battles won, heads held high Pride, accomplishment and victory So why does it feel like falling apart from the inside out? Are you so sure this is courage... Or is it just what is left after rage Rage at the world for being what it is Rage at myself for my choices For my ignorances Is courage just wanting to melt away Yet being forced by the laws of this world to stand and face the oncoming storms? What good is it then...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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Dirty touch I feel you you are with me even if its only in my mind these memories have lingered on and haunting me they are Flashbacks I see you You seem so real As you play the memories all the time I feel sick when I see you in my mind I shake in fear when you're around Dirty Girl I feel so dirty when you come and visit me I scrub my skin really hard I make it red, I make it raw But your dirty ways I can'...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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That time of year is coming up so fast Where all the memories haunt me from the past All hope appears to be lost Is it my life that it will cost I shake in fear at the sound of your name Everything is still the bloody same I am left with all of this shame You still haven't learn't to take the blame I feel so dirty as you play in my head All those times that you made me bled I can't forget all of your lies I really don...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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I don't know why I'm still here Why do I bother to hang on? I feel myself slowly slipping away I think death is creeping its way inn I feel so empty inside I've lost all hope in this life I don't want to be around no more Why did people have to save me?
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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How can I forgive, When all you did was take How can I move on, When you're playing in my head You haven't seen me in years Yet I see you just as clear in my mind You haven't touched me in years Yet your touch feels just as real now How can you continue to take, When you're not even here Why do I continue to break, When I can't even see your face You should be proud You done your job well You stole from...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by babygirljen16
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Almost 4 AM.......seems when hes not here.....I cant sleep. Im not sure what to do....it seems so crazy..... He makes me feel safe...takes away the nightmares.....holds me...comforts me when I cry in the middle of the night....relaxes me to the point of beinng able to sleep....yet when hes not here beside me....I cant sleep. I cant rest........I toss and I turn. Any sleep I get isnt good.....filled with nightmares and feelings of loss and lonelyness..... And hes only in the ot...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by littlegirlgone
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3 comments
Where is my hero? Where did she go? Why did he not listen? As my tears start to flow. Did I not say it clearly? Am I too small to see? Surrounded by many, But they all ignore me. When will my hero come? When will this all end? Will I ever be rescued? Will I ever mend? I try to escape in my mind….far away. I try to be strong and hope for the day My hero will take me away from this place. Where I will b...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by Sydnei94
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As the days go by the memories they flood my mind . It seems like the older I get the more I remember and it hurts me but I do remember . I remember that day in the back of the house Romeo When you pushed me against the house When you pulled down your pants and you pulled down mine IT almost happened that day but luckily that man walked by and saw us or it would've been taken away . I remember That day in the basement Dre When we were playing a...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by alicethemalice
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I joined Points with Purpose 2 years ago. And every time I start posting messages, I become afraid that no one will listen and that nobody cares what I'm typing. It's not like they owe it to a stranger to care. But I feel like more than someone caring, this time I just want to get all of this off of my chest and out of my head. I don't want it to be a secret anymore and I'm hoping that writing all of my experiences out will help me organize my thou...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by pooki
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Depression is when you hate everyone around Depression is when you don't want to make a sound Depression is when all you want to do is cry Depression is when you feel like your dying inside Depression is when you thoughts wonder all the time Depression is when you can't sleep even though your tired Depression is when you don't want to go on Depression is when you can't stop shaking outside Depression is when you hide who you are Depression is wh...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by pooki
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3 comments
i'm laying here in the middle of the road. thinking:why ,e?what did i do wrong? as cars zoom by honking their horns tears run down my cheeks "damn you why wont you hit me/ can't you see i want to die?!!" as i lay there everything floods into my mind again. parolizing my body. eyes squeezed shut fists tighting harder and harder.. as i try to fight myself i give up. desparate for a cure i find my razzor. "Hit me!!Hit me!! make it stop!!" i sl...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by pooki
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she stands there, alone in silence. she looks up at the rain as it falls, drops slash against her pale skin. tears form in the endges of her eyes.. she lowers her head, staring at the ground.. those beautiful red drops.. splash splash..splash.. soon she is surrounded in a puddle of red.. she closes her eyes flashes of pain.. memories.. emotions travel through her numb body. she holds out her arm slidings the razzor across her skin. ...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by pooki
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peace, pot, tequilla shot, jesus loves us stoned or not, sex, drugs, rock n roll, speed, weed, birth control, life sucks, and then you die, in the end we all get high, shake your ass, wear a thong, party hard all night long, drink alot, take a shot, screw the guy u think is hott, crazy nights filled with hate, thats right stoners live and stoners die, in the end we all get high, if in life you dont se eed, fuck em all and smoke some weed
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by pooki
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i keep telling you your life aint so bad. that you can get through itt try to stay strong. your not alone not the only one suffering in silence wanting to give up. i understand you are one of my best friends please dont leave me your not alone stay strong you can fight this im here for you you have me. we can do this together we're best friends remember? you're ...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by pooki
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I remember each and every moment of that day each time I try to forget the pain and memory of that time it is still there I remember when you got on top of me i tried to push you off I screamed hoping somebody would come but nobody came now I live with it each day of my life I try to remember it was not my fault but still deep inside i know it was How could you do that to me? i said no.. How could you sleep at night knowing tha...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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1 comments
I'm not sure where I am This place is so unfamiliar Friendly faces surround me I'm in a place where I'm loved I haven't been here before I've never had someone to fall onto Every time they hold me close I pray they will never let me go I know it will probably go away Everything good always does But for now I'm going to hold it close In case it never comes again This place isn't as dark as it...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by NobodyKnows
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The mist swallows the light as he searches for her She feels him, an unwanted visitor cloaked in darkness He steals from her soul and claws at her heart Frozen at the sight of him she closes her eyes tight Sitting with clenched fists in the dark, holding nothing Only because she has nothing to hold onto He whispers the lies she has come to believe And she falls victim to his power and control, again After, the stench of death lingers in the night ...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by gabriella
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Do you know what is like to lay awake At three o’clock in the morning Been trying to sleep for three long hours. But every time I close my eyes I see his face It is like he is there to haunt me When ever I want some peace He appears. I have hardly slept a wink. I am shattered to the ground I can’t last another minute But I can’t fall asleep. I am haunted at every closi...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by Sydnei94
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4 comments
I Am Currenty At School And I Just Wrote This Poem Off The Top Of My Brain . I Hope You Guys Like It . . . . . . If Only You Saw Me Today You Would Know What Your Touches Your Breaths Your Moans Your Words What It Made Me . If You Looked In My Eyes Today You Would Wish You Hadn't If You Heard My Voice You Would Wish You Were Deaf If You Saw My Arm You Would Wish You Were Blind And If You Knew What Was On My Mind , In My Heart You...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by SCA
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2 comments
Hurt I feel so hurt and alone dont want to know whats going on closing my eyes hoping this will be a peacfull night silent as a mouse noone knows off the horror inside off this house bleeding in pain tears run silent like the rain hurt smelling his smell feeling his hands, his body on mine feling his pushing will it ever stop? will I ever be free off this I am silent, pretending but that dosent mean everything is fine! &...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by Sydnei94
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This is just something I wrote one day. Hope you guys like it ....... so young and confused scared and alone crying from the pain when i feel them their hands all over my body their bodies on top of mine my is beating so fast im so afraid nowhere to run and hide afraid of what they will do to me if i were to tell. i ask myself everyday why did this happen to me ? blaming myself for everything they did they just dont know what they did to me the dam...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by SCA
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5 comments
I feel so lonely inside never leave home without a knife a little cut some blood is drippin i feel like im trippin hiding myself make my body feel the feelings wishing i was gone wishing it was my safe home why dad? why did you hurt me so you made me hurt me more so your hurting i cud let go. Hurting Hurting and pain this seem to be my life c...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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2 comments
She can't smile these days She can't pretend that she is okay She is broken right down to the core She feels like her life can't go on no more She's failed to escape the pain from her past She thought there was hope but now she feels lost She fought for her life but now she can't fight She has hit rock bottom and found no way out She picks up her pen and begins to write She leaves a note for those she must leave be...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by Alexander2010
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2 comments
This song...means a lot to me. I know this site is for sexual abuse victims, but I have more than one story, and they are both on here. This song really relates to me. Some of you may know the name. Other may not. But that's up to others to decide. You see, this one is sort of relative to my father, who beat me for 12 years. I just thought this would be the kind of thing that was okay to write down. Seeing as this is not just a bitching-or-complaining-about-normal-life kind of thing. It...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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3 comments
I never knew that safety could exist in my world, until you came into my life. God you changed my life, you saved me from myself. I was so broken, so scared, and so hateful. But then you showed me happiness, safety and love. I opened my heart to you God. I decided to let you inn to my life. Then you turned it around and now I'm just not the same. I never thought I would say that I love life so very much. I never knew that I could feel safe in such a scary w...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by babygirljen16
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The life of an Insomniac.... Is.... Horrible... Lonely.... Heartbreaking..... Never feeling rested.... Dealing with... The nightmares... The aching pains.... Feelings of frustration And tears that continue to run throughout the night.... Try as I might...my mind never sleeps... I toss and I turn... With thoughts of pain and misery I wish I could stop it.... I wouldnt sleep if I could help it.... I wish it was that easy.... :( I wish it wa...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by babygirljen16
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1 comments
God....im so confused.... My emotions have been so all over the place its not even funny....I literally have been crying every single day for the last week and a half....and not some small tears...but pretty much breakdown level.....im stressing out really badly...I dont know what to do I mean...everyone would think I would be so happy....and I am....you see...I found out that my Mother is allowing my boyfriend to move in with me. In a guest room of course....but still....I just have t...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by babygirljen16
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1 comments
I should have known better.... I should have known better when he said it was okay.... When he had me do what I did. I should have known that "no" was the way out I should have known better then to want to be normal... That will never be possible I will neer be normal.... I should have known this would haunt me I should have known what to say to make my mom happy How to mak...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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I know you think that you walk free But why would you be such a fool You may have got away with this But you have only gotten away on earth Wait till you have to answer to God To tell him what you done You think you've gone unpunished But you really did think wrong You committed such an awful crime You stole from a little girl You caused a lot of pain you know Your punishment will one day come You can try to taunt m...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by wondergirl
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3 comments
Food is scary it makes me fat it makes me ugly I don't like to eat just in case I gain weight when I really need to lose it I am 169cm tall I weigh 60kgs I feel so fat I eat very little I don't want to take chances so I eat just 1 piece of fruit a day I am losing weight kg by kg but I just cant lose enough sometimes my sister makes me eat but I feel guilty when I eat so I mak...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by IsobelKing
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3 comments
YOU USED ME YOU LIED TO ME YOU BETRAYED MY TRUST YOU TOOK MY CHILDHOOD YOU HURT ME YOU DAMAGED ME YOU BROKE ME YOU MAKE ME HATE MYSELF YOU MADE ME HURT MYSELF YOU MADE ME HURT OTHERS YOU NEVER GAVE ME A CHOICE YOU CONTROLLED MY LIFE YOU MADE ME WANT TO DIE YOU'VE DONE SO MUCH DAMAGE YOU HAVE NO IDEA YOU MADE ME STRONG YOU MADE ME DETERMINED ...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by iamsilentnomore1995
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Dan (my rapist/abuser), here i write this poem for you, good karma is on my side, but yours will stay bleak and blue, no matter how hard you try. if it was legal in the UK, i would have you dead. that way you'd be gone, and my thoughts of you would end. how could you of been so horrible to me? i didnt think you'd go away, you forced me twice into your bed, and threw back the duvet. it took all my strength to get r...
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