Browse Message Entries (Messages set to "private" not shown here)
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Posted 3 month(s) ago by Sonic
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1 comments
Ok, so I've been out of this site for some (a lot of) time. Entirely my bad, as usual trying to do 1000 things a day and only managing to get 100 done and being really tired before I can even think of the other 900 left... Still, I could really use some advice on a matter. I have a good friend, but I also have a lot of problems with him. When we met, about 2 years ago, one of the first things he asked me was if I could be his girlfriend, At the time we were out with a group of ...
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Posted 9 month(s) ago by swimmerjordo
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1 comments
Girls, did your perid change after you were raped? It's been four years. PM me to answer? I can't read my comments for some reason.
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Posted 10 month(s) ago by Cirdan
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2 comments
The other week some of the people I work with were joking around, I didn't hear the first part of the conversation, just throwing rape around like it is just like any other four letter word. I wasn't raped so why did it affect me so much?
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Posted 11 month(s) ago by hannahmariestegall
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4 comments
so lately ive been hanging out with alot of guys. yes i know this is not the best for me but im not a major girl person bi or not. they are just prissy prissy plus im scared to come out about being bi. ive meet a couple of girls but they are close friends and i will not date my friends. anyways sorry add ive been hanging with them been supervised. but last night...last night just wasnt right. i went with this guy to the drive in theater and my family was there of course being supervised but ...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by hannahmariestegall
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its finally time the moment i have been waiting for. i thought i was ready i had cried my tears. i didnt think i had more. i need him he has helped me through so much. i feel like im letting everything go. i told him i was scared. i didnt want him to go. i felt so selfish when i did. he took me in his arms and said what i have been wanting to believe is so true. but when i looked up his face....it was so hurt. he is always smiling. it took me by suprise. when i showed him what i done he coul...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by chargerbandnerd
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4 comments
I am convicted. Not until recently have I started to feel anger for the assualt that changed my life. Instead of turning the anger outward it is now towards myself. I started cutting and in a week have accumalated about 40 cuts to my upper thigh and stomach. I need help and some advice. I know its wrong but it makes me feel better, like putting my pain from the inside somewhere else. Am I the only survivor that has had this issue, Im so confused and ashamed of t...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by Iluv2smile
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8 comments
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by Callie
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4 comments
I have been trying and trying to ask God what is wrong with me and why i feel so down and depressed most of the day. Then he answered me and told me that I have a fear of being alone. I'm not sure what to do about it. I've had it since I was little. But it's gotten worse. Being sexually abused just disrupted everything. Now that my husband has a job again, i'm back to being alone all day with my daughter, and I can't do it. It drives me crazy, I get depressed, ...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by Cirdan
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1 comments
I was watching a choral concert that my little sister was in the other week when, as I listend and looked around, I saw an expression on one of the chorus member's face. The thought that hit me right away was "I know that look. I've felt that look." But I don't want to say or do the wrong thing in case I am wrong. Unfortunately there hasn't been enough time to think things through, while my family and I prepare for christmas, so I don't know what to do. Any adv...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by Mooley1331
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5 comments
I decided to quit counseling today, or just take a break, I havent yet decided. I just got tired having to deal with things, my sessions made my thoughts worse. I would get more anxious leading up to them than i would about my problems. Am I a coward from wanting to run from it all? To pretend for a little while that I can be normal, will I even be able to do that much? My counselor thinks he offended me, but I just want to hold the cards in my hands. Last week i told him i was suicida...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by siennasmommy
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0 comments
I still have a lot of trouble sleeping alone after what happened. Even though it happened a long time ago. I don't feel safe when I am by myself, and all of these thoughts just start circling around and around in my head, reminding me of what frightens me the most. Does anyone have advice on sleeping more soundly and feeling safer?
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by Tayla
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Do you think they diserve it?. I want him to pay for what he did to me. He is still walking around like he owns everything i see him all the time. And the police didnt do anything to help or put him in jail and now i dont have evidence it is like its my word againt his and latley i have been not able to get it off my mind. And when i ask for help i dont get it. I want to hurt him like he did to me. I dont want him dead i just want to scare him. Im not going to anymore councelers becuase i ha...
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Posted 1 year(s) ago by Tayla
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1 comments
Hey girls and guys i have a question and want to know what you guys think. As i wrote in my last entry. Im pregnant because of needing a way to gain back control. I told him and he dosnt want to be involved so im by myself as a soon to be parent. Im still going to school and doing childrens service cert. 2 and doing home school aswell. Because i couldnt take having to see my rapist everyday. But next year i want to go to school for nursing and finish grade 12 aswell while taking care o...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by Tayla
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2 comments
Since i was raped last year i have changed so much before it happed i didn't care what guys said or did or whatever but since it happend i have been getting angry at all guys about what they say about me and what they do. I get so mad that we normaly end up in physical fights. i got in fights but they were normaly with girls and only when they came at me. I am even going at my brother. Like to night i got into a punch up with him becuase we were fighting (verbally) then he said yo...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by kimhang012
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2 comments
Life has thrown me another curve ball and boy, it's rough. Husband -- a friend, lover, and protector...so I thought. My marriage of 8 years has ended. I made the decision to leave. I don't regret ever marrying him. I love my husband and always will. We have two beautiful children from our marriage. However, because of my denial of the abuse for so long, I allowed myself to endure the verbal and psychological abuse . I kept thinkin...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by Tayla
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2 comments
Not from the rape but from trying to get over it and recover on my own. Im 17 and i dont know what im going to do how im going to tell my mum or anything. All i was doing was trying to get over this my own way and becuase i know my friend would because his mind is alway on sex he knew what happened and he said that we should. I know it sound stupid but i really thought it would help. Now i am going to have a baby. I need some advice on what to do how to tell my mum. with out having 6 kids ar...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by Louise1021
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5 comments
Hi guys, I got a comment on one of my stories from a member called "CiaraGirl", which was basically a mix of insults related to my experiences and what this "person" would like to see done to me next....logged out because I got pretty upset but when I calmed down and came back on to report the person, the message was gone and I can't find anyone using that username on the site....does anyone know what happened here (ie. was the account deleted or blocked from the site etc.)? I ...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by Cirdan
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3 comments
I had a nightmare last night which made my roomate, who doesn't know what happened to me, think that the noises that I was making were sex noises. What should I do? I don't want him to think that but I can't tell him what happened to me.
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by unkniwn10
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4 comments
i feel really alone im mentally and emotionally breaking down to the point where i dont kno what to do with myself anymore...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by unkniwn10
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4 comments
the things that keep me up everynight is my memories and guilt im writing this at 5 in the morning and i still have not slept i always think wat if... wat if after me he hurt another little girl and maybe if i would have told someone about wat he did to me they wouldnt let him go around children i jus think of how another girl could have or could be suffering in the hands of him becaue of my silence... it eats me up everynight
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by hecgiles
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5 comments
Hi, For 2 years now this has been turning around in my head, not knowing what to do, so thought I would ask some of you who may have experienced the same, or those who are supporters - what as a supporter you would have prefered in my families situation... So i was sexully abused by my Grandad from the ages of about 7-16. I was always told to keep quiet, it is our little secret, it will split up the family if u tell anyone etc. When I reached 16 I had enough...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by Tayla
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1 comments
I thought he went to the other college becuase that what he said he said he goes to the college that is 20 minutes away from the one i started at this year. But it turns out he is going to the same one as me. I saw him the other day walking down the corridoor, He goes there because he has to learn better english. And his in one of my classes. i dont know what to do. it is too late to get the police and everything even though i went to the police but i didnt do a rape kit or anything becuase ...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by amycsymons
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1 comments
So I had this idea, for something that I really want to do, but i want some input. What I'm thinking of is an anonymous, in-person, actual place where young women who have ever been, or arecurrently, victims, can come and just get away. Theyd never have to tell their names, we woud never give out any info unless they asked us to, and it would be just a comfy place to just be safe, sit and think, or talk with others who have gone through it too. Eventually i'd get a buildin...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by Help
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3 comments
Sorry if this may seem like a silly entry but i wanted all your advice before anything. well ever since a couple of days ago, maybe like 4 days, ive felt as if my heart has been skipping beats or has been beating slow beats?? its weird to explain but when it happens i usually get short of breath and have to take deep breaths in sometimes it goes sometimes its stays a little longer, but a few seconds max. but its been really hot lately so im not sure if i should get checked or just wait, i...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by Tayla
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1 comments
My mum knows about what happened becuase after i told the police they went to her her and spoke to her. But since that night she hasnt said anything about it i think she has forgotten about it and everything i think she thinks if she hasnt forgotten i think she thinks im fine. i remember in the past she says if a guy does something like that she will be there and help and kill him and all that. I want to talk to her because im not fine and i just want it to stop in my head like it keeps play...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by kickasscowgirl17
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my sons daddy is in jail for what he did to me from the age of 11-16 years old. He is in there for 16 months thats all they are charging him for thats fucked up in my opinion but i cant do anything else about it. well the point that i was addressing is that my sons daddy is sending him letters and notes to him i had four letters this morning that were addressed to him, the other thing is that i dont think he can do that i tryed to keep him from every knowing about his dad and all he wants ...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by untouchedsoul73
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2 comments
This is just a start for me. I've never told anyone my story before....and am not sure how to start....but here goes. I am not finished yet. I lie here awake. All that goes through my mind is memories. Memories of that little girl. I would go to sleep at night, praying that he wouldn’t come in and hurt me. I would listen to the television….waiting for my parents to go to bed. This is it. I know he’s coming in soon. I wish I could just go to sleep. But I can&rsq...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by scars12
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1 comments
How long do people do emdr before they notice a difference? Does there become a point in time when it becomes an easier process? Yesterday I had a session and I feel awful. When I try to talk to people they tell me I should just quit the treatment. That it is too much. I had a lot of childhood abuse and I have DID but pieces gotten better. It is only bad when we start with a new memory or part. I just feel at the end of my rope. If this isn't working will anything? I just need to know h...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by DoubleDee
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1 comments
I am no longer in contact with my abuser as he has been jailed now not for my abuse though he got not guilty on rape but guilty of concentual sex with an underager how can they say i just spread my legs for him? i dont know where it goes from here i am no longer being abused or going through courts but i have no idea what happens next? i have a conciler but i cant talk to her or any one for that matter but i still cant even sleep at nite for flash backs and memories. will thi...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by jannehelen
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2 comments
With my abusing past all I have been doing is keep thinking of a better future. But when will that future begin? ... Today or yesterday? What about today? Running forward, just survining, but not living. I want to enjoy the food I am eating, feel the air blowing past me, sleep in a safe bed, spend time with my son, nightmares gone, see new places, have friends and enjoy their company. Maybe I have to discover life again, learn living from scratch?
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by StayingAFloat
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1 comments
So if not mentioned in my story my cousin molested me once before to along with Roger. And today I went out to lunch with my Aunt (my cousins mother) and as it happens we ended up going back to her house after for a little bit and I saw pictures of him on the fridge and around her house. It made me realize I think every day I'm getting closer and closer to moving past all this, because I no longer feel angry with him and i even felt like I could forgive him now. A big part of me won&...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by Violet
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5 comments
I've been thinking long and hard about this. I still don't know though. After taking a friend into my family house nearly a year ago because his parents weren't supportive of him coming out and saying he was gay, and they were becoming abusive, he started motivational speaking. He claims to have been abused from an early age (as early as he remembers.. he also muses it may have happened basically since he was born). He claims to have been abducted by his birth father (divor...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by leahslife
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2 comments
i have just been given a fantastic oppotunity of a new job, the job is of a home care support worker! for the past few years i have always worked in homes for the elearly or minimum wage which bearly gets me and my family by. but the new job is excelent pay with brilliant training oppotunitys and gives me everything i want to further my career, now for the catch!! my first bunch of clients live in the same villiage as my abuser!! i dont know what to do, do i take the job and basi...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by ConcreteGirl
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4 comments
I joined this on a whim after reading an article about the project. I've only shared my abuse with a few people very close to me, and only because it's been absolutely necessary. No one knows my story, only that it happened. I'm going crazy having nobody I can share with. The anonymity of this site interests me; we all need support and can't always get that support through the people in our lives. I want to talk with people who are like me. There a...
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Posted 2 year(s) ago by AnnieRae
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8 comments
So when I first joined PWP I met a girl, same age as me and sort of close in location; SmileItsAly' (Aly) We talked and talked and later became friends, I began emailing her once she told me she was leaving PWP for personal reasons when we emailed she began to act strange and she bounced from family member to friend back home and as of right now she is scared and confused and no longer with anyone she knows. She told me the other day her and her mom and step dad got into a fight a...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by onemoreday
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6 comments
So, I have never directly told my mother about my abuse, and I most likely will never do it. That right now isn't the issue. I have this horrible fear that the monster may be thinking about or even doing it again. He spends a lot of time with my neice sitting on his lap and today I seen him run his hand from her hip to her ankle and back repeatedly. It was over her clothes and she was covered with a blanket, but it still freaked me out. Am I freaking out for no...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by StayStrong
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2 comments
I first met "Blake" last summer. He drove me to and from a meeting regarding a camp i was volunteering to. I was to be a counselor and he to be the director. My first impressions were very positive. He was a well-spoken, bright young man. He spoke with utter confidence and cheer. He let me know that he was extremely active in his church and worked as a social worker. We got on quite well, and I quickly admired, respected, and looked up to him. The drive to and from that meeting was complet...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by catealexandra
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2 comments
It has been a year and six months yesterday since that horrible, horrible night. I have been through it all in the past year and a half I feel like. I've gone from being in shock, to being okay, to wanting to forget it ever happened, to forgetting it ever happened, to hating myself, to forgiving myself. Life has been a rollercoaster. I went to get a copy of my police report (which I filed for the sole purpose of having it on file in case he does this to any other girl --i d...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by tImEtoHeAl
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1 comments
The only way that I can move through my normal day is to push everything down.......to not think about it.....to try to tell myself that it doesn't really matter......that I'm being stupid for wanting to understand, for wanting to feel normal, for wanting to be happy. I tell myself "I AM happy". I tell myself that I'm just FINE......that I don't NEED anyone......that I can do this on my own. It hurts too much to deal with anything. So I ask you : is it wort...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by alyce
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4 comments
Hi everyone, If anyone has read my last post, I was having issues with doctors.. Since then I have been referred to our Royal Children's Hospital to try and get some answers and help for my health issues.. Its the most high profile childrens/adolescent hospital in the country and I am so scared! My appointment is tomorrow... I really don't know what to expect or what they're going to do... I'm really worried about being touched, even if it's...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by HyeEunSuhKim
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2 comments
How can I keep from acting on my thought? Nothing seems quite right. I hate being isolated, not being able to do anything. All I can think is how wrong I am, how selfish I am.. I`m tired of laying here, helpless. I`m tired of fighting, but do I have any other options? How can I be there for others and make sure everything is well with them? Keep them from worrying at the same time? How can I do something useful? Helpful? I feel like.....
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by briannat
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1 comments
Sooo...... after FINALLY really coming out with my story about a year ago, I learned that my dad (my abuser) had also abused one of his cousins years ago. Apparently it happened when I was about 3 years old, so she was about 15 or 16 at the time. Anyways, since I have found this out, I have been really wanting to get ahold of her. We were pretty close when I was younger because she would babysit me. I felt that because we used to be close and have obviously gone...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by alyce
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6 comments
Hey everyone, I've only ever posted one poem here early last year.. and I was doing ok since.... Writing and posting that poem really helped, it was kind of a release, but the truth is I really don't think I ever stopped struggling, but I guess I was always 'ok' enough to cope with it on my own...but of late things have been different... I've been sick for 16 months now, and it's since turned into chronic fatigue.. I have not been to s...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by Lostintranslation
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5 comments
Ok. . here goes. I became a part of PWP a long time ago. But it was too hard so i haven't been back to visit the site much. My abuse ended a long time ago. . . 18 years ago to be exact. I have sought counseling, and help, and healing, and even tried to turn it over to my faith. I have periods where i find myself thriving and growing and moving through it. . . and then. . . there are times where I feel like I'm 11 again and completely and utterly out of my mind. I go in and ou...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by jessiihannah
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6 comments
I was raped 3 years ago at the age of 15. I became pregnant, but couldn't go through with an abortion. instead, I gave birth to a 5 week premature baby girl, who I then gave up for adoption as it was simply too hard to be around her, and I needed to finish school. Now my little girl Lexi is almost 3, and she has leukaemia. She needs a bone marrow transplant, and I have been notified as I am an almost perfect match. I know I should give the marrow to help her, as she is my daughter, but ...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by KL
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5 comments
Hi everyone. I know rigth now there is all kinds of fighting and stuff, and i'm brand new to the site and all so I have no idea whats really going on, but I was wondering if you guys wouldn't mind giving me advice or something right now. So i'm in college and i'm a nursing major. I'm only in my second year so I just started my program for real. Well lately I've been thinking that I am not smart enough to actually finish the course. ...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by KimberLeanne
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9 comments
This site has brought alot of things to the surface for me and has made my life hell. I am greatful to have this outlet but really didn't know that so many of my everyday interpersonal issues - can be traced back to hiding this for so long. I sabotage my relationships - the more important the person to me - the worse i treat them. Keeps them from getting close enough to see that i am not who i want them to believe i am - i am not strong. I am not brave and giving. I am selfish and terri...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by TrbldHazelEyes
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I wish I had someone to talk to. Someone not through a website. But every one that I know, knows my husband and would not believe in 1000 years that he would ever rape anyone! I've been through numerous sexual assaults, raped by my own husband, cheated on for two years, and I attempted suicide. Who would believe me over him? Certainly not his family - and not mine. My family would believe that I would leave under such circumstances. That I wouldn't be so weak as to stay with ...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by lostsoul
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1 comments
okay so my ex best friend ( she is evil. i swear. ) text me saying stuff like ' i cant believe what your doing, you will regret this' she has found out about the rape. and the is literally blaming me. the text was quite long but thats what it basically said. i feel like punching a wall. why is she saying this to me? the boys have obviously lied saying that its my fault and it wasnt a rape. what the hell? she doesnt even know me anymore. d...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by discoveringthenewme
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3 comments
Hello to all of the new people here who I have never seen b4. I took a very long break from this site as I didn't want it to trigger me back to anything. I've been without therapy and other care for about 3 monthes now and life is so unpredictable. I am really moody. For example last night I was happy as could be and then a couple hours later had a complete meltdown that lasted about an hour even though I did take medication.....wft? Today I just feel "blah." I feel like maybe I re...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by wichkid
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5 comments
There have been many occasions in my visiting the various sites I work through that I have realized I live reasonably close to a person reaching out for help.I like the idea of these sites being semi anonamous, but have often felt a face to face meeting might help. I have been hesitant to actually offer because that would end the anonamous factor. Do any of you think this would be a good idea. I can't decide for sure. I value your opinions. Thanks. Kevin
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by sapphireprincess
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2 comments
so my therapist says i cant expect people to be mind readers and that i have to tell them what it is i need. especially if its something taht is really effecting me and i am still not getting what i need/want. so then i do it, and i stil dont get it. i mean, how much more work do i need to do. i am so afraid to speak out, bec someone wont believe or follow through...and yet their actions say so little. it hurts. tiffani www.livingasecret.com
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by Emilie
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8 comments
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by dannyb3649
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2 comments
i dont know what to do next! i feel like i need therapy and i am sure at this moment therapy everyday would be amazing! i am getting so many emotions just flooding back to me that i am overflowing! so many things i need to say, things i wish i could say, yet scared to admit to most of them, what to do??? i feel stuck between a rock and a hard place and i HATE IT! i have been thinking about doing EMDR therapy, something more intense and maybe that will help me deal with the things that are ...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by MayaSofia
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3 comments
I study two courses of study. One being physics, the other being computer science. I want to obtain a PhD in physics beginning to work on it probably as of summer next year. At the same time i want to keep studying computer science to obtain a "Master" in that subject and maybe even go on with that afterwards as well. So there shouldnt be a problem with it i guess... But tomorrow i have an appointment with one of the Professors of my university, to talk about my options (where...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by sunflowerintherain
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4 comments
Last week I got a phone call to tell me that the man who assaulted me was being released from parole and now that he was allowed to be on campus property. That was not the issue...it came the next day when my brother called to tell me that an older african american guy came to the door asking for me. His reasoning? He was asking for forgiveness. Forgiveness for what he did and he wanted to talk to me. My family is encouraging me to forgive him so that I can move on. It has bee...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by MayaSofia
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3 comments
Hello, i need advice, yet again... sorry for that... Huge panic just broke loose here... My therapist wants me to go and see a gynecologist... I had to go see a gynecologist once when i was pregnant... That was sooo terrible... She saw all the injuries and scars... down there... from the things that happened... And the scars in some of the places where i cut myself... (legs and arms and belly) She was looking at me really strangely... And i was sooo damn scared... i totally panic...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by Tigerlily
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4 comments
Anyone out there struggling with self-esteem issues???????? Feel so alone. Everyone I know seems to have great self-esteem, me I don't think I was even born with any. I keep trying to go back to find where I left my self-esteem but can't seem to find a time at all. I'm not even sure I know what self-esteem really is. Anyone have any ideas of where to start? What do you have to do to get one? How much is it going to cost? Does it cost? I struggle being around people becau...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by wouldyoulikeahug
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6 comments
Well I'm going off to uni soon, which poses a problem with the counselling. Do I continue or not. It would only be 10 pounds and 1.5 hours on the train which isn't really any issue. But I don't know if I should just grow up and move on. It's just that I feel like there's still SO much I still want to talk about. He said that now the court thing is out the way (what he called a 'short term issue), we could focus more on deeper, long term things, like my upbrin...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by nocomment
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2 comments
my foster mom just told me that my mom and dad are going to be in my therpy session tomorrow as if i didn't have enough to worry about i am afraid what if my parents hurt me again what if they yell at me what if they try to take me back oh i don't know what to do i am just soooo afraid anyone have any advice for me?
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by nocomment
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8 comments
i have to go to court tomorrow at 9:30 in the morning i am afraid because my mom dad and two uncles will be there i am afraid because i have to tell the judge and everone in the room what my dad and uncles have been doing to me i am afraid that my dad and uncles will hurt me in court or yell at me i am afraid i will tnot be able to speak through my fear but most of all i am afraid the judge will send me back to my parents please help me i am afraid
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by MayaSofia
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2 comments
Hello, its me again. I am sorry that i take so much space on here... I have an appointment at the dentist in about two weeks and I am so scared... I hate it when someone puts something in my mouth... It reminds me of some things that happened... What am I supposed to do? I mean i cant tell the dentist that i am scared... I mean I am a grown up person, so i definitely dont have the right to be scared of the dentist... do i? The problem is, when I was 8 one of the abusers beat m...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by Taylor
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2 comments
alittle more than two years ago i was outside playing basketball in the street it was a beautiful day and i was having so much fun i had been shooting for awhile and i noticed this guy walking down the street toward me i didnt really think about it that much i thought he would just walk by but he had other things on his mind unfortunately i shot the ball and it rebounded back toward him he takes the ball and throws it in the woods ( my goal is like two feet from them) i ask him why he did ...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by matty19
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7 comments
Hi Everyone, My name is Matthew and i'm from Newfoundland, Canada...I'm wondering if there is anyone out there who can share some advice with me or let me know how they feel about the issue i'm faced with now with my publacation ban that is forcing me to stay silent for the rest of my life.. I have a group started up on facebook for support, i'll leave the url below so you can read up on my situation if you like, it would be alot easier for me then for me to explain it...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by crackerjack
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4 comments
life seems to be all about the fight for survival. we must learn how to survive in our situations, we must learn how to survive the world around us, and how to survive our own minds. go through the steps to get help and instead of it helping and you getting better, your world starts spinning back out of control. a trip to the hospital and getting into counseling and back on meds only helped for a short time. i thought this time would be different i c ould at least hold off the demons for awh...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by MayaSofia
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3 comments
the adoptive mother called and said I need to come back to visit one of the abusers for his birthday. She says I need to fulfil my duty. She says I shouldnt always be so egoistic. This scares me so much. I feel like I HAVE TO go back. Like I have to visit him. I want to make something right just ONCE. So I need to go back. But I am scared. I am so weak. I am so egoistic Being scared means that I am egoistic. I am only thinking about myself. I shouldnt. ...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by faithfuljesusfreak
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2 comments
I am always around a particular person who is always complaining about a particular person. I do not want to hurt their feelings however I so not want to keep on hearing the complaints over and over day after day. They do not want any advice because every time I offer it out they do not follow it. They are always going around the same person every day and I always end up being the person they run to when they need to vent. How can I tell them without hurting their feelings that I d...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by Annastesia
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3 comments
Ok so I recently had a girls night with my two best friends and we decided to have a movie night at my house. Well, we rented all kinds of movies but one in particular was called Hounddog. I don't know if any of you have seen the movie but it's about a little girl getting raped and then having to deal with the trauma afterwards. I thought I was OK to watch this movie but I was not. I had to hide my face from my friends and hold back so many tears... When will it cease? I thought I ...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by GamerGirl09
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2 comments
hey, i have to ask because i do not know if this is right or if its just because i have been raped that i am thinking it may have happened again. my ex boyfriend (i left him around 1 year ago) was a virgin and we had been going out for around 6 months, had only ever kissed, nothing further than that. untill one night he got drunk, i wasn't tipsy but hadn't had as much. we started kissing in bed and one thing led to another. we went straight from 6 months of just kissing to being...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by SilentMe
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5 comments
So I just told my dad about my molestation when I was about four or five years old (Im 19 now), and this is less than a week after telling my mom. Believe me, nothing about this "coming out" thing went like I had planned at all, so I still feel bad about not telling them together and what not. I can't bring myself to tell them who, yet, because I know that Im not emotionally ready for all of this stuff to go down right away, but my dad especially pressed for a name and every time ...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by wouldyoulikeahug
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4 comments
Firstly, it's amazing to see the site blossoming with all the new categories and chat function and things like that. I first posted in 07 I think before it changed but look at it now :) Anyways, the reason I'm writing this is because I sort of need advice or just someone to say they are the same, or just a hug maybe. We are not a terribly 'hugging' family and they tense up when I try. But it's about counselling... I've been seeing a very nice counsellor...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by MayaSofia
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3 comments
Hello, I am just trying to write a letter to my birthmother whom I never got to know. We had contact when i was 18 for a short while by writing letters. We never met in person. I had so many problems at that time and still have that i couldn't keep up the contact and it eventually broke. Well, now i would like to rebuild it and i am already searching for her new adress. But i have no idea of how to write the letter. How much can I tell her? i don't want to be rude, it wouldn...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by icouldbeyourhuckleberry
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5 comments
ok.... so I have this issue.... if I fill in the background for you, it might help you help me, so here goes. Because of the way I was raised I crazily developed this amazing potential for love. I meant it, its massive. My friends say I have a big heart, Im always giving and caring and passionte towards almost every person I meet except if they are rude or mean or come at me with 'attitude' then I just blank them, dont give ANYTHING, or I seeth, I dont say a word but from ...
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Posted 3 year(s) ago by yellowbutterfly
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4 comments
So I've just started seeing a new guy and we've really hit it off so far. This will be the first time that I've even considered getting into a relationship since being raped, almost 2 years ago. I feel like the time is going to come that I'm going to have to tell him about this experience for many reasons... obviously it's something that's affected me deeply and the results of that still impact my life every day. I am very protective of myself...
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Posted 4 year(s) ago by MayaSofia
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7 comments
hi everyone... I just don't know what to do anymore... I am so scared to go to the hospital... I have to go there on monday and stay for 14 weeks and i just don't want. I just don't want to have this stuff in my head anymore, want all the problems to go away. But I don't know how the therapy is supposed to help with that... Maybe it would be better not to go there at all? I am so scared... I don't want to be in the hospital... Don't know what to do anymore... ...
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Posted 4 year(s) ago by hiddensecrets
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8 comments
It has taken me a lot of courage to finally post a message concerning this for fear that the people I talk to on here will view me differently or that people will take it as a joke. But I'm finally doing it. I've had cannibalistic urges for years now and within the past year I have started acting on them. I don't just eat like the skin around me nails, I cut chunks of skin/fat out to eat. I know I need help because when I get the cravings every few weeks, I now can't d...
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Posted 4 year(s) ago by GamerGirl09
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8 comments
I said a while ago i was going to stop posting but it's the only way of venting and what-not these days so i might as well. Realised today that i've become obsessed with the man that raped me. in the way that i have found myself trying to find pictures of him because is driving me mad that im starting to feel like this was all a dream. because its just like nothing happened. it's driving me insane! I can't stop thinking about him, i just want to find 1 picture...
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Posted 4 year(s) ago by zifadedoda
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4 comments
ok you computer genuises out there...here's the deal... when trying to send notes to you guys..not public messages...but notes...i get the box tht pops up to type in who the note is to...subject...and body..but then it won't allow me to scroll down enough to hit send. I don't know what's goin on here. there are a few of you that i'd really like to check on and this dang thing won't let me.... any help in what i'm doing wrong would be appreciated...
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Posted 4 year(s) ago by shannonschuette
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1 comments
does anyone else on the site have a spouse. and if so how do you talk to them about the assault??? i find it hard to talk to my husband about it and i feel guilty for not talking to him at all about it. but is it really healthy for me to try and keep it out of our relationship? he is a very straight forward man (Trucker's usually are) but i don't know how to tell him things. he didn't know until friday why i flail so badly in my sleep. nightmares. he just holds me ...
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Posted 4 year(s) ago by SilentMe
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2 comments
During the first class of my day today (lovely timing, as usual) I experienced a trigger moment (is that what they're called?) that only intensified as our class discussion went on. I wanted to leave a few times during that period, but I just told myself to stick with it and ended up feeling horrible after the class was over-- almost to the point of physical illness. Does anyone have any advice concerning how I could ease these moments? They don't happen too often or too intensely...
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Posted 4 year(s) ago by De
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1 comments
Why does everything have to be a roller coaster ride with healing?? :((
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Posted 4 year(s) ago by GamerGirl09
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2 comments
Hey, needing advice on how what kind of qualifications people will need to get involved/get a job working with people who have been abused or sexually assaulted. I'm starting a psycology course in august and i think that may help but iv been trying to find a site that will fill me in but i just wanted to see if any of you out there have any idea!! Thank you x
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Posted 4 year(s) ago by apparently unaffected
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0 comments
For the past five years I though I was ok. I thought it hadn't affected me, I almost forgot about it. I'm not sure why, but like a scar, the memory has begun to throb unexpectedly just when I though I was truly healing. I carry it with me always. I carry him with me always.
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Posted 4 year(s) ago by bien_ecouter
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2 comments
One of my male friends was raped by his older girl friend while he was spending the night at a friends house. She was his first serious girl friend, but he was sort of a boy toy to her. He tried to tell people what happen, but almost no one believed him. I have done research on the topic, but am still a little confused as to how I can help him. I know that the most important thing is for me to let him know that I believe him, but what else can I do? He has a very hard time trusting anyo...
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Posted 4 year(s) ago by dev
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2 comments
I was attacked over a year ago and since then everything has been getting worse and worse. I've only been able to really tell one person I was attacked and it was my boyfriend of two years that i was dating when it happened. He has not been really supportive about it, he chooses to ignore it. But since it has happened I'm so scared of everything. I don't feel safe at all anymore. I can't even stand to be home alone at night anymore....
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Posted 4 year(s) ago by kutekimmy69
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2 comments
I was raped in the summer by my ex-boyfriends friend and to make matters worse my ex left me when he found out I was raped because he couldnt "deal with it" and I am still having problems with it, some days I think I'm getting over it and some days its like it just happened yesterday. But one of my main problems know is that I just recently got a new boyfriend and he is a great guy and I love him so much but he just dosent understand my trust issues with men. ...
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Posted 4 year(s) ago by zifadedoda
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2 comments
Hello sisters and brothers. We have a sister in need of a place to escape. A place that at this point in time, I am regretzbly can't provide. This is a desperate situation and i am calling out to our group... If Anyone has a room or knows of save place...please, please, contact me. This sister is in need of us... she came to me...now i'm coming to all of you. PLEASE HELP ME HELP HER! peace and love z
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Posted 4 year(s) ago by hidingthepain
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4 comments
WHAT DO I DO NOW I AM SICK AND TIRED OF RUNNING OUT OF HOPE OUT OF STRENGTH. WHERE CAN I GO NOW HE KNOWS WHERE I AM AGAIN? PLEASE HELP I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.
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Posted 4 year(s) ago by Cooper
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1 comments
It's been over a year since the last time I was abused and three years since the first time I was abused and I still cannot imagine having a boyfriend. I've gone on dates but usually only a first date because I don't want anyone to get too close. I don't trust guys and I don't know if there is anyway that one guy can make it change for all guys. My friends at school pressure me to go out but only my best friend knows what I've been through and I don't...
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Posted 4 year(s) ago by bellajuliet
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3 comments
i finally got the courage to tell my boyfriend about my experiences. i knew it would be difficult for him to understand, but he didn't react at all how i expected. he went rigid with anger. i was really upset myself and after a few minutes i think he realized how upset i was and became more empathetic and caring. i told him i just needed him to hold me and so he did for awhile and i felt a lot better. i feel so guilty for dropping this bomb on him. i ...
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Posted 4 year(s) ago by ABC
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1 comments
I didn't even shout for help, I feel like it was my fault, all I could do was say to him 'no', I never called for everyone, and there were people in the house for the majority of the rapes. I just can't understand why I didn't yell.. I feel in all my relationships that I am disinterested with the person most of the time, like I'm continuously thinking that each and every guy that I know could just suddenly go for me. This guy I've known for almost a year...
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Posted 4 year(s) ago by PowerInWords
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0 comments
I just left my therapist last Friday. We had a long discussion about how none of this is my fault. I have spent such a long time, basically my entire life, knowing that my mother is "always right, because she is the adult." The majority of the conversation was this: Me: I shouldn't have been there. I shouldn't have lied to my mother. She always warned me not to be over at a guy's house without adults there. If I wouldn't have lied, it wouldn't have happened. She was ...
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Posted 4 year(s) ago by midnightsunflower
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5 comments
I figured it's time I stopped running away from this and get help with dealing with it (if that's even possible). So I signed up for an appointment at our counceling center and got one for Monday, but I don't know what to say. I don't know how to make this guy see what I'm going through then ask him for help. I don't know what to expect or even how to begin. I don't even know if he can help me, I just can't live in this fear and suffering anymore. Does...
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