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Posted by strongmelanie
"What's wrong Melanie." my friend asks while I sit on my bed. I am nervous she looks at me and says,"it's ok you can tell me." "Well my dad does things to me, like put his fingers down there and licks me and puts his penis down there in me." "Oh my god Melanie, this is wrong he should'nt be doing this." she says. "How long has he been doing these things to you?" she says. "Since I was 4 years old." ....( I am now remembering as an adult, it was much younger.) ...
Posted by mandee32
Let me start by recommending for anyone who has suffered trauma DON'T take a lie detector test about the subject. It was re-traumatizing and inaccurate to say the least.  Everytime the assessor asked a question about the sexual abuse of my children my stomache turned, my breathing increased, and I had flashbacks of what happened. Does this make me a liar or am I just emotional about the issue in question?   After the test I had persistant suicidal thoughts an...
Posted by strongmelanie
I would say this is a memory but this is part of my story. (I am 10 years old now and still the abuse has not stopped or just alittle.) I am at a flea market with my father, I am helping him carry boxes out of the camper trailer to our table to set up for the day. We finish up and have an hour to relax before opening. Dad decides to go back to the trailer. He says to me in the trailer, if you are tired take a nap. I lay down and he is just about to walk out the door, he looks at me, I kno...
Posted by Clairee
it is quite hard to write about this as most of you probably know so bare with me, i have to get it out. I'm sorry. When i was 5 my mum and dad got divorced. My dad was miserable living with us so he cheated on my mum then left us. Though he visited occasionally. Because of the divorce my mum was a single parent studying at university with only a job in a supermarket so we hardly had any money. We moved into a cheap flat, me, my mum, my twin brother and my older brother. It wa...
Posted by Guinevere1
My older brother told me today that likely he and my younger brother won't be going to the family reunion either. I had decided not to go much earlier, way before I found out that Steve (molester) was going. Now they feel like even having this asshole there will ruin their whole vacation. How can one man still have so much power over us? Because he decided to go, now there'll be five less people (including spouses and kids). I wish it didn't have to be this way. I wish...
Posted by MayaSofia
Hello everyone. Havent been on here in a while, at least not really. I am leaving tomorrow morning to go to the hospital. Its only a few more hours and i am still trying to pack my bag... I am not very succesful trying... i am very scared and i keep yelling at my boyfriend... he wants to help me and i tell him he does everything wrong... (he doesnt) i keep telling him its his fault that i have to go to the hospital (it isnt) but someone inside of me thinks so, b...
Posted by sammyHXCsacrifice
It's not fair! It's not my fault, I did nothing wrong, I was an innocent child. I hear the silence I taste the tears The echoes of guilt will haunt my years. I see my clothes fall to the floor His breath i hear as he shuts the door. I feel his touch upon my skin Trying to push him away but he enters in. I see the world through different eyes As he lays there a part of me dies. While I lay on my bed in a shattered mess My innocenc...
Posted by HH
  Yeah..so here I am.  I have shared my story with a select few throughout my 33 years.  I have never joined any kind of group or shared in this manner.  Not sure how to do it. So I guess I'll just start. My earliest recollection was from about 5 years old. We used to visit a my father's best friend often. His (my father's friend)  step-children were in older than me. I am not even sure by how much.  I believe from what I can remember they w...
Posted by mandee32
Hello there !  These past two Sundays started off seemingly harmless until breakfast yesterday (sunday) morning when my son started talking.  Last Sunday or possibly the Sunday before I told you all that my son told me that he had been left alone with daddy ( the abuser) while his girlfriend (the enabler and so called supervisor) went to her apartment to play Ratchet and Crank Video games.  My son said she left so that him and daddy could have time together.  I was so ang...
Posted by mandee32
I know you may be wondering why debt has anything to do with sexaul assault or abuse. Let me explain a revelation I just got. I paid my house tax bill today and a significant amount of debt off last month. It left me struggling for a while but in the end the burden of debt was lifted and my money was clear to move onto better things. Today God put on my heart the inspiration that I no longer owe any DEBT to my abuser! Yes I bet you are saying, "EH? What is she talking about?"&nb...
Posted by Lily0123
I have wanted to post this for awhile but never felt strong enough to do it.  The letter below is a summary of my abuse.  I wrote this letter to my parents so they could understand what has happened. Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 ...
Posted by nani
 i am washing his dishes. he calls out to me"are you done in there?" upset that i was doing his dishes after him n 6 of his friend dirtied them i yelled back "almost". i guess he didnt hear me because he repeated the question. and again i answered him but in a more attitudish way. "i said im almost done!!" (i should have never done that). he came storming in the kitchen and knocked me to the ground. when i looked up all i saw was the barell of a gunin my face. and all i did was say my l...
Isolated from the rest. Putting my heart to the test. Its the final moment , life or death. Defeat or triumph. War has begun , and i have offically had enough! I dont talk , or look up from my feet. I think i have lost this war, time to accept defeat. Dad puts the bottle down, grabs my wrist. Pulls me to the window, lowers his fist. He says gently to me, see this sunshine, see the daylight. You will never see it again, d...
Posted by Clonesfan
Well you all know how I wrote all these nice comments on my therapist-well I just tonight found out the real lady that she is and come to find out she is just as bad as everyone else is at the blaming game. She is totally not the person that I thought she was. If you want the honest truth she is a total BITCH and I will never  return to her again and I am starting to wonder if my wife is really wanting to be in this struggle with me.    So basically I am back at square one ...
Posted by wouldyoulikeahug
Well I'm going off to uni soon, which poses a problem with the counselling. Do I continue or not. It would only be 10 pounds and 1.5 hours on the train which isn't really any issue. But I don't know if I should just grow up and move on. It's just that I feel like there's still SO much I still want to talk about. He said that now the court thing is out the way (what he called a 'short term issue), we could focus more on deeper, long term things, like my upbrin...
Posted by marfafilms
..............what's going to happen to this site once the Portrait's done?
Posted by mandee32
Hi Everyone I lost it and broke down during a Children's Aid appointment today. I got news I didn't expect but I was worried would come.  Right in the beginning I told CAS that I was worried that access through the CAS centre may lead to my ex using them in his court battle to regain unsupervised access by going through yet another "program" for parenting and suddenly all the concerns would "disappear" and I'd be left fighting in court again to prot...
Posted by newk
My name is Patrick, I'm a survivor of clergy sexual abuse. I reported the abuse over 20 years ago to the church. Recently I searched online and learned that the Priest was still a Priest and currently being accused of abusing another child. I, after much soul searching, contacted the other victim and then a third victim came forward. We went public (National TV) and all Major newspapers, to expose the cover up the Catholic church organized. they told the victim that I contacted tha...
Posted by pernille
I think its very common that survivors after any kind of fysical abuse dissconect with their bodys..so has i.... latly i have had some problems with it that has forced me to take actions and think about what i really actually do feel fysically. last week i "lost" my foot, so called drop foot, and i had to see my doctor with it. he said its not a very common thing to get and tomorrow i have a check on the hospital. he asked me if i have had any back pains, and i said no to it. ...
Posted by paulam
I just need to get this out here if thats okay. I discovered last night that my grand-aunt is dying in hospital, She is the wife of my (dead) abuser. She is also my Dad;s aunt,  Long story short, she knew what her husband was capable of, she caught him with one of my cousins, and it was only many many years later that I found this out. Up to that point she was very much part of my family unit. She has been in a nursing home for nearly 3 years now, as most of her nieces and nephews are e...
Posted by mandee32
My hearing at the Criminal Injuries went much better than I could have ever imagined. Everything I worried about never happened. I was listened to and they made an acception and told me the decision...." We believe you"... All of this I would do again in a heartbeat to hear those words from them..."we believe you" WOW!  I will write more later I am soooooooo exhausted... My hats go off to those who work at the Criminal Injuries Compensation Board for Victims of Crime...You have...
Posted by wondergirl
I am really struggling to cope this past few days. i feel like shit.  wishing i was never born. things would be so much easier, if i never existed. hmm. dont know wats wrong with me. im totally drained.
Posted by wichkid
Every single person in the world has differing opinions on any subject. I wish that those opinions didn't inffluence decisions. I just read that David is doing a portrait of Michael Jackson, and it is causeing a stir here at PWP. No matter how you feel about MJ, this site is not about him. We need to stay focused on our individual support and healing.The Jackson site is a seperate entity. Please don't let it cause you to doubt the validity and value of PWP.There are very strong bon...
Posted by mandee32
Sago, Ahnee Boohzoo (Hello) I'm here again to blog my feelings about the up and coming hearing in the next 5 days.  I wanted you all to know that I am soooo blessed and I have such awesome supports in place for my recovery before I complain about anything.  I wake up each morning with a more intense anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach anticipating the Criminal Injuries Hearing about to take place in five days, on the 17th of this month.  I have constant thoug...
Posted by MayaSofia
I need everything to slow down a little... i cant do this anymore... everything is on high speed right now... i am back from my week with the "family"... a person who was very important to me died... i am sad... my brother looks like a real junkee... worse than ever... makes me sad... and its my fault... he needs a beer in the morning to get out of bed. His "exgirlfriend" needs to bring a beer to his bed in the morning so that he can get up at all... (i wrote...
Posted by jannehelen
I am not sure where to start.. Try keep it short, because it's long... 6 months ago I turned my brother into the police finally! ... I am hurt badly as can be our "mother" knew since I was at least 6 years old, beacsue that was the first time I had a major fit against the fact I had to share bed with him and he had been touching me in ways he shouldn't.. Second time I told her about the abuse I was 12, then told to not tell anyone    Then when I was 22 she told ...
Posted by jessiihannah
I was raped 3 years ago at the age of 15. I became pregnant, but couldn't go through with an abortion. instead, I gave birth to a 5 week premature baby girl, who I then gave up for adoption as it was simply too hard to be around her, and I needed to finish school. Now my little girl Lexi is almost 3, and she has leukaemia. She needs a bone marrow transplant, and I have been notified as I am an almost perfect match. I know I should give the marrow to help her, as she is my daughter, but ...
Posted by pek
I`ve been with my wife for ten years now. When we started dating she told me that she had been abused when she was younger. So I knew from the start, but to hear it, and to understand it, it`s two different things. I came to this site after my wife told about it, and after she said that it was alright if I wanted to join with pwp. I am very glad she did that. I have read a lot since joining, and I`ve cried so many times. I have had a childhood filled with love from my parent. This cruelty th...
Posted by SilentScreamer
Am I the only one who was abused at age 13? By her 17 yr old boyfriend, not a father or uncle? Am I the only one who identifies as a survivor but was never assaulted or forced? He "made" me do it to him, but I never said no. Am I the only one? I was scared to stop him because I was afraid he wouldn't love me anymore. Am I the only one? I feel very much alone because my story is so much different from what I see on sexual abuse awareness projects, videos and photos. It makes m...
Posted by AnnieRae
On the internet, I found this website.   SaveAliyah.com Please visit it. http://saveaaliyah.com/  
Posted by mandee32
 I wanted to talk about this topic because a lot of us who have been sexually abused have difficulty with boundaries whether they be spiritual or physical.  Especially if we have been harmed at a very young age and have not had the modelling that comes with healthy relationships and healthy love. I have been struggling immensley with relationships with men since my childhood but most significantly since being repeatedly raped by my ex partner. Some where in there I learned wha...
Posted by NeroTouNnsiou
I've had a really horrible session today, not long ago My insides feel torn out and forced to expell the truth of my past to someone, a doctor He ripped me open today and it felt like he was a mythical creature, evil and destructive He asked me questions and intruded in my personal space He told me he is trying to help but everything in me tells me he is dangerous to me I feel worn and drained of every emotion I have and I have no one to blame but myself I put myself t...
Posted by DoubleDee
I'VE JUST HAD THE MOST HORRIBLE FLASH BACKS AND SORTOF STILL AM ITS OFF TWP OFF THE TIMES HE ABUSED ME THIS TIME HE ONLY PENATRATED ME FOR UNDER A MINIT BUT ITS THE MOST FORSFULL TIME HE EVER HURT ME I CAN SEE HIM I CAN SMELL HIM I CAN EVEN FUKIN FEEL HIM DOWN BELOW I CAN FEEL THE PENATRATION HIS HANDS ALL OVER ME PINNING ME DOWN TO HIS BED HIS BREATH ON MY FACE AS HE FORCES HIMSELF INSIDE ME I DONT KNOW WHERE IT CAME FROM BUT I HAD THE STRENGTH TO PUSH HIM OFF IM THINKING RUN F...
Posted by marfafilms
...She sent this to me on facebook.   Yvonna******** January 30, 2012 at 7:27pm   Brian, After reading your story, I had no idea that he took you to the bars with him.. Why didn't you ever say anything to me?? I would have found other places for you to stay while I was working. I always wondered what he did with you while I was at work, but he wouldn't say and you wouldn't say. All I remember is that when I went looking for you when I g...
Posted by mandee32
I recently made an entry of a new memory and like the floodgates two more new memories of totally different abusers came to light again!  I feel like I need to blog them on the posts here to purge myself of the damage of keeping it inside.  So here goes..... 1.  I was twelve again like my last post when my sister's highschool friend sexually molested me. So in the same year I was harmed by two different men.  At this precious age I was easily influenced by my frie...
Posted by jackieos49
One day I hope that I can find enough people to make that Change to walk in DC to let us the Survivors of Sexual Assault herd.I have that dream of having hundreds to march and say we have had enough.They media dosent like good they like bad stories,since that is what sales.It has to be the child that is riped from his spirit to live,are to not have the memories of being a child to know what its like to laugh cry,and just jump around.God give me the numbers so we can be herd.I tried to get a ...
Posted by NeroTouNnsiou
Every part of me is a message, every part a note Somehow through all the abuse of my past the connections have stopped I am not sure if this connection exists firmly with others who may posses a clean slate Or if this connection is more profound within those who are survivors such as ourselves All I know is that I can feel broken, both within and without My body laughs as my soul cries, it is confused as am I I feel good today, strong, robust I find myself feeling t...
Posted by KathyR
  When I sit down with keyboard at hand,                             the words flow as a medley from my mind. But, when I speak from the depths;                              &...
Posted by pernille
im so out of myself.....i really hope this will pas quiqly as H____ !!!  just wondering if any of you ever feel that its too difficult watching over yourself? im so scared to relax...im scared if i do everything will get worse and that i cant handle at all right now. i feel as i am not safe to myself, and thats fucking scary !!!  this week hubby isnt home until friday,,,so im alone with the kiddos, witch i belive would have been really great if i didnt feel so freaking insane...
Posted by BeChange
Voices = Voices of Innocent Children End Silence. Only a few days left for votes, once again am seeking your support. If you have not already done so could you please consider voting for Voices in the 50K health section of the Pepsi Refresh project. Link http://www.refresheverything.com/VOICES  Any support you can offer would be greatly appreciated. Thank you again.
Posted by alyce
 Hey everyone,  I've only ever posted one poem here early last year.. and I was doing ok since.... Writing and posting that poem really helped, it was kind of a release, but the truth is I really don't think I ever stopped struggling, but I guess I was always 'ok' enough to cope with it on my own...but of late things have been different... I've been sick for 16 months now, and it's since turned into chronic fatigue.. I have not been to s...
Posted by mandee32
Dr Phil showcased a horrific sexual molestation story about a trusted pediatrician who video taped and violently molested 104 children over a ten year span.  There were many complaints made from other professionals about his sexual conduct toward these children for several years before his final arrest in 2010.  Please take a moment to message Dr Phil at the following site..preferably on the Ask Dr Phil section to ask him to showcase David Ilan's project and the Points with Pu...
Posted by Ducttapedrose
I can't speak for everyone, but I feel that it is a safe assumption that most--if not all--of us have been attacked by people. I don't mean in the ways that brought us here, I mean in verbal and emotional ways. I don't think I am the only one who has been called melodramatic, or a drama queen, or a liar, or a [insert derogatory word for woman who sleeps around. They all fit in here.] I have been called a cow, and I have been called an idiot. I have had people attack my intelli...
Posted by saz
 I have come to that point where I really want to be rid of this. to get it all off my chest. but also to ask for some help. I hated counselling and never got any inner peace of healing from that and so a part of me is hoping that some one on hear can say something to stop the guilt. I want to share my story and I want to know people's honest opinions on it. whether it was my fault or not. whether the cases are abuse. whether people have been through similar things. I feel liek unt...
Posted by mandee32
As a Woman who is First Nations if I had to pick a chant that made my spirit feel as I do as a survivor I would have to pick this one...plz feel free to listen to it and comment on how it makes you feel? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_baloCb-nM Blessings! Mandee
Posted by mandee32
THE LETTER "The mother reported to the society a few weeks ago that K again disclosed that his father touched his 'privates'. Assigned Family Services Worker S  met with K in light of this new report.  K could not provide any context as to when this took place despite being asked several questions such as what the weather was like when this happened, what season it was, what time of year it was.  The society was unable to pursue the disclosure further as it was n...
Posted by Emilie
I am so so so angry at the moment It was a lovely day, I took a walk in town and was on my way home. I was going by bus as usual and there was a man near to me, wearing a strange mix of colorful clothes. First he seemed a bit drunk but he wasn't. He had this oleaginous grin on his face when he looked at me. I was standing and holding on, he was right next to me. he had hes hand next to mine or so I thought. I wasn't really looking at him, more starin out of the window. And then ...
Posted by MayaSofia
Hello everyone, i really need some advice. my brother will soon (hopefully) graduate from High School. I say hopefully because it isnt even sure yet that he passes. Well, now he asked me today if i could come to his graduation ceremony. But that would mean being close to the family and maybe even see them... So i really dont know what to do... Should i go? or should i not go? my brother is really important for me... And i would really like to do everything he wants me to...
Posted by marfafilms
I just looked up Points With Purpose on Wikipedia. I'm always telling people that everything is on Wikipedia, but I was just proven wrong. PWP is not on Wikipedia. This really worries me! there needs to be Wikipedia article about Points with Purpose! I'm asking that either someone on here writie it, or I will do it. I know I'm not exactly the most qualified person to writie the Wikipdeia entry (nor am I even slightly qualified), but if no one else will write the Wikipedia arit...
Posted by mandee32
Just wanted to say a personal goodbye to Shina our sister on PWP who encouraged us all kept her word even after her death.  I met her on PWP a while ago and we talked on the phone a couple of times. I know she had the heart of a Lioness ready to take on the world and just needed the one chance to do that. She drew a beautiful picture of an eagle just for me because I asked her to and emailed it.  She kept her word and did that.  She also told me she would tell all of us on PWP...
Posted by mandee32
I just posted a very long message but I had to show you all what happened this week and how I kicked ass!  LOL  Thanks to the confidence I've gained from being on this site and staying focussed on the goal of protecting my children.  I'm nervous about the possible outcome of this meeting but hey what else could I do?  As for the CAAP assessment that we've waited six months for that will prove the abuse happened to my daughter it's coming this week and ...
Posted by marfafilms
...and there was something I was hoping would happen by today. I told myself that if it didn't happen by today, I would do something....... I can't say what the first thing is I am talking about (lol), but I can say what the second thing is.   When I joined a year ago, I claimed to be a Supporter (I AM!!!!), but was actually a Survivor disguised as a Supporter. Over the course of this year, I have gone through so many wonderful (and many not-so-wonderful) things,...
Posted by
No one is ever prosecuted for perjery, and if they are it is very rare. This happens every day in San Diego. Prosecutors go after innocent men, by fostering lies.    Prosecutors withhold exculpatory evidence, and put innocent men in prison on bogus abuse charges, and use women who testify falsely. So what happens when a judge holds them accountable for what they have done? They just boycott the judge! Dumanis decision to boycott a judge recently means that any time a criminal ...
Posted by livingmylif3
 thank you PWP, because if you i was able to tell my cousin what her uncle did to me, and she understood and she BELIEVED me. I feel like some of the weight was lifted off me and that i can breathe. there is along road ahead of me before i am completely healed, but now I'm ready to start my journey. i want to start going to therapy and my cousin and PWP is going to help me. Thank you again PWP for your support and guidance, i wouldn't have done this with out you.
Posted by hannahmariestegall
i hate this i feel so use.i feel useless.but i cant stop its like my own nicotine. its so horrible.i die inside everytime.i freeze the only word that comes out is yes.cant they see im a broken doll nothing is left of me.i wanna cry but i cant its weakness. i wanna hurt myself but thats also weakness.why am i like this why cant i stop.i know he destoryed me but i should be able to speak.im treated like crap but i take it cause i like it. thats not normal im not suppose to.but i do.im so disgu...
Posted by jamester
 I am the youngest of two siblings. I have an older half sister. My mother has no clue who my sisters' father is. And I have never met my dad. Haven't even seen a picture. My sister and I lived a miserably poor, hungry, and sad childhood. We haven't really spoken in 20 years. I'm 37 now. My mom and I speak every now and then. Probably on average of 2 times a year. When I contact her, she seems bothered every time, like I'm interrupting her favorite t.v. show. ...
Posted by AngelDorah
i wish i hand some to talke to
Posted by godofdanger
Hello fellow survivors ,   I haven't written on here for awhile , namely because I'm doing fine and getting on with my life , but events at work a couple of days ago really shocked me !! The case involved the gang rape of a woman in her home by someone I was close to , he was a good guy , always smiling and pleased to see me and he seemed likesomeone trustworthy . As far as I know , no one knew that he was accused of 2 counts of rap...
Posted by onemoreday
So, I have never directly told my mother about my abuse, and I most likely will never do it.  That right now isn't the issue.  I have this horrible fear that the monster may be thinking about or even doing it again.  He spends a lot of time with my neice sitting on his lap and today I seen him run his hand from her hip to her ankle and back repeatedly. It was over her clothes and she was covered with a blanket, but it still freaked me out.  Am I freaking out for no...
Posted by nocomment
I AM BACK EVERYONE! I MISSED ALL MY FRIENDS SO MUCH! AND I HOPE TO MAKE SOME NEW ONES.LIFE HAS BEEN GREAT BUSY BUT GREAT. I NOW HAVE A BABY HER NAME IS FRUIT LOOPS SHE IS A TEN WEEK OLD SHITZ ZU I LOVE HER SO MUCH I AM ABOUT TO KILL MY LITTLE SISTERS IF THEY TOUCH OR BREAK ONE MORE THING IN MY ROOM (I NEED TO GET A LOCK FOR MY DOOR!) AND LIFE AS A CHEERLEADER IS AWSOME CHURCH IS COOL THEARPY SUCKS BUT OTHER THAN THAT LIFE IS NORMAL HOPING EVERYONE IS WELL TTYL HTP
Posted by NeroTouNnsiou
I can't do this anymore, my mind is just running all the time. Every time I try to forget up pops feelings from my past. I say past but it feels as much present as it does past, if not even more. I don't remember feeling this much when I was being abused, in fact I don't remember feeling anything at all I was numb and naive; two things I'm yearning for right at this moment. You know what I wish I was still that kid, a corrupted but still so innocent kid where a bike and s...
Posted by Alexander2010
this is a repressed memory....i just discovered it on the morning June 28, 2010.....at eight years old......my aunt raped me....i'll tell you the story.... it was so long away....she did it four times between 8 and 10 years old....she was 12 or 13......the first time... .... was on the bed....in her room....watchin cartoons....im 8 by this point... She walks over.....climbs on the bed....after turning the tv off... She starts making all kinds of weird motions on me......
I went off of my medication that I've been on for over two and a half years two months back. The first month i spent fighting going through withdrawls which I thought would surely be the worst part of this process. About a month into it i had 3 nightmares in a week---only one that i actually remember, the others my boyfriend told me about as i was screaming and lashing out in my sleep. Within the past two weeks I started feeling really down but I figured I just needed to get out an...
Posted by strongmelanie
I'm embarrassed right now so much. I split at work today and cried unbelievably. There was a paper at my staff table, about a little girl that got murdered in our town by her step father. I didn't even know about it and I would not expect to read about it at my work as I drink my coffee. First I got pissed right off and sad who in fuck would leave something like this in here. Then I started to cry uncontrollably. Everyone just looked at me, nobody knows anything about me....
Posted by SayMoi
You lose. You played the game. You came, you saw, and you desired. You attempted to conquer. You played well – as well as anyone can play, well enough that you likely still think you won. You're wrong. She is a victim – you scored well there, I'll give you that much. But unfortunately for you, that is not the end. It's barely even the beginning. She has been pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; hunted down, but n...
Posted by ceri
This is such a special occasion for me and a huge milestone in my life. I had an offer from a national charity 'Churches child protection Advisory service'  to publish my story! This is so amazing especially as I was a victim of abuse & rape by a church leader, my church leadership have supported me throughout this, with our Pastor even writing a chapter in it to prove his support of me. This book is already having a huge impact around the country and i...
Posted by wondergirl
Hey everyone I was in intensive care for 2 wks and 2 days due to a really bad overdose.  A wk and a half of this i was on life support.  I had 2 seizures.  I had pneumonia.  part of one of my lungs collapsed.  I don't remember this happening or even overdosing.  I was given medication to put me to sleep most of the time because i was really confused.  they wrote it all in a book for me and my sister told me stuff.  I am feeling a lot better now...
Posted by gabriella
  The pain and hurt.   The pain and hurt he caused me, Made me become silent, I was silent, silent for 5 years, But then it was too much, For my little self to take, I knew it was wrong.   I had to say something, Something to who? Who would believe me? Me a little girls word, Word against a grown man, Man who was trusted.   Finally I found the courage, The courage to speak out and tell, ...
Posted by SCA
  Innocence     She is so happy,  all innocent  at least it is what you would think  smiling  pretending  hoping  dreaming  Laying in bed , wishing for a  peacfull night  it turned out to be that horrible one&...
Posted by wondergirl
 I just took 90 tablets.   =(
Posted by jannehelen
Now I have only 2 weeks left of waiting to get to the courtroom. I have been fighting so hard for this day to come. I have a hard time believeing this is REALLY happening at LAST! Thinking back at age 6 and the scream for help, "please stop HIM mommy"... All the years and torture I had to stand up to and take since that day... All the screams I have had since that day and up to the day they sat and laughed last year... Noone saw it, noone listened and noone cared... I took it all an...
Posted by SJKL
[[Most of what I wrote is one of my attacks. I have terrible nightmares about this man, and in my dream he rips out my body parts I believe that maybe him ripping me apart is supposed to show the amount of pain I went through. It's pretty morbid, but I tell it like it is. Both in reality and in my dreams.]] As I sleep, I dream. I dream of him, the things he did. As I sit there, talking to friends and enjoying the night.. he lurks in the shadows, waiting for me. The fire burning, th...
Posted by Iluv2smile
I don't know if I should tell the judge what happend yesteday when I was at work I just talked to my therapist about it and I asked her if I should and she asked me if I called the police I told her no but I imformed my supervisor right away and my supervisor told my coworker to tell him he's not allowed to be there. so my therapist told me since I didnt call the police the judge might think im not taking the tro seriously but I let her know that as soon as I saw his car I buzzed ...
Posted by wichkid
My cousin is a singer in Nashville. She co wrote this song with a friend. When I listened to it I was astounded by thier insite. This song is beautiful, but it will make you cry. Just a warning. I hope you all like it. This is Pamela K. Ward singing "I PRETENDED". http://www.reverbnation.com/widgets/swf/18/facebook_widget.swf " height="460" width="460" align="top" bgcolor="#ffffff" loop="false" wmode="opaque" quality="best" allowScriptAccess="always" allowNetworking="all" allowFullScreen...
Posted by wichkid
Racism is a disgusting part of our society. I have rebuked so many of my "friends" for making racist statements or actions, but I have a problem that gets thrown in my face. If you have read my story you know I was attacked and raped after I was an adult (at 23 years old). There is more that I haven't shared here, and I could use some help or advise. When I was attacked I was not able to see my attackers face,so I have gone all these years not knowing if he was still around me. The o...
Posted by babygirljen16
Alright...today was such a weird day! On top of the fact that my appointment was cancled, I had some guy trying to get with me! Now..I have never..aside from the few boyfriends I've had, had a guy flirting with me so hard....I mean seriously! He wouldnt leave me alone...he was getting very touchy with me, trying to mess with me..but I was just uncomfortable. At one point he grabbed me around the waist and tried to kiss me! I dont even know this guy and I keep pushing him away yet he ...
Posted by KezzaT26
I did it :) I finally did it. I managed to report him XD I know it wasn't properly reporting him as I did it annoymously but it's still a massive step for me. I see him around college practiclly everyday and I never thought I'd be free of him. I still get my down moments about it, but this is the happiest I have been in a long time :)
Posted by gabriella
 I am standing alone, Feeling afraid, Crying and writing, Expressing how I feel, Feeling ashamed, I keep on trying to pretend I am fine, And I still try pretending it didn’t happen, Building up walls, I don’t want to let anyone in, I am too scared of getting hurt, I just want to be left alone, But I want to be free and feel alive, You gain strength, courage and confidence, By every experience in which you really, Stop to look fear in...
Posted by SweetEscape
 So, I have night terrors quite frequently... I wanted to post something, how I deal with them after they are over, and helpful things I have found to help them decrease.... I want to be able to have other's share how they got over them as well...  Firstly, I am going to discribe what my personal night terrors are like.  Right before I fall into REM sleep, my body starts "twitching". It's like I become super hyper-sensitive. Then images start rushing through my...
Posted by Sydnei94
i don`t even know what to say to you . there`s so many things i want to let out , so many things i feel as i write this . i have a question . why ? why did y`all do that to me ? i mean do you know how everything y`all did made me feel ? Y`all were touching on me so much it became all i knew . everything y`all did to me really rotted my mind . like you , kevin . all them times you made me "hide" with you under the bed . you could never just keep your hands off of me . you really did so much t...
Posted by SJKL
A brief moment of pure happiness an excitement.. an eternity of heartbreak and pain. 5 weeks of joy, I was set on having you in my life forever. In a split second you were detached from my life, and all I can do is cry for our loss. People telling me I'm young and have many chances to bring new life to this world, if they only knew how untrue that is.. my love does not have a life time to help me concieve. I stay awake crying, wanting so bad to still feel you inside of me.. my mind refu...
Posted by Iluv2smile
has anyone ever have to run into their rapist and if so how do you handel it? I was raped by this guy I know I was too afraid to report it. Days later after he raped me he started coming into my workplace even more everyday to see me he would always look around for me and if I was there he would stares at me and he even comes into my line when he coud've went to the other one it creeps me out. Eveytime when he comes in I get sick to my stomach and have anxitey attack it get bad to were ...
Posted by strongmelanie
Just like it says I found my father. I looked up his name on google along time agoe and found a message on a ansitery site of a lady looking for her grandparents. I contacted her because she included my fathers name in her search. We stayed in contact via email for sometime and I decided it was time to meet her. Well, it was too late then because she had passed away. I was devistated to not have meet her in person. Well to make a long story short, I looked it up again being yesterday and my ...
Posted by gglexicon
Well to start things off. This will be the first time that i will describe/write the child sex abuse i survived. I was 8 years old, my cousin in his early 20's. what essentially happened was that he had my bottom completely exposed. he touched/rubbed my genitals as he masturbated to the action/sight of me. he ejaculated on me, i started to cry and opened my eyes. this was a one time event, though prior he had touched me which made me feel uncomfortable.
Posted by alyce
 It's been 13+ years since I was that little 6 year old. 13 years of silence. That was until yesterday when things hit breaking point between my mother and I. I finally told her I was abused. I never wanted to hurt her. I never wanted to make her feel like she didn't protect me. I never wanted to inform her that her once little girl had been hurt. As I've grown older I have wanted to tell her, but I also wanted to protect her. I have just given my mother another...
Posted by chelley28
When I was 14 I got invited to a Halloween party at the house of a friend of a friend`s older brother (jacob). I was pretty excited because he was 19, so it was going to be more of an "adult" party (i.e I could drink alcohol). I think it`s safe to say I drank too much and I was feeling pretty ill, so I decided to go into one of the bedrooms to have a lay down. But when I went in there were three guys dressed as clowns, one of them was jacob the other two I didn`t know. I got talking to them ...
Posted by Fantasy lover
I was five years old. There was a family that I spent so much time with they became my second family. A single mother with three kids. The mother was like an aunt, her children my siblings. The youngest was a girl and my best friend, the middle child was a boy, and the oldest another girl. One day the boy and I were home alone. You can guess what happened after that. I was confused and didn`t reolize it was bad. He was like a brother, I trusted him.But it kept happening everytime we were alo...
Posted by manboything
So i was 4 when it began and i dont remember much. Just a vulnerable household. A child for a mom (shes not all here) and a coward of a dad (hes gone but i dont miss him.) anyways steve moved in when i was around 4. He befriended my parents and offered to babysit and all that. We used to play games. I dont remember much back then but he would tickle and spank me and it would always lead to something. He called it a game. He called it love. I didnt like it but at the same time i did. It felt ...
Posted by ramoss
I still struggle to survive and not be overwhelmed even through it stopped a long time ago. I was raped and sexually abused started when I was 3 or 4 years old. It stopped when I was 11 or 12. My childhood was 2 lives. The abuse and everything else. The first memory as a kid was of getting raped. I struggle with the feelings as well as the knowledge that even when I told as an adult my mother said it was my fault. The 2 main abusers were 2 cousins 10 and 7 years older then me. One d...
Posted by Zoompad
I am one of the Staffordshire Pindown home child abuse survivors - the Allan Levy Pindown home government report. What didn't come out in that report was that the Pindown child abuse had been going on at least since the 60's, they just kept changing the name of the system and the homes.  In Jersey the Pindown system was called the Grand Prix system.  I was raped by a family member when I was 11 for two years and then when I tried to run away from home ...
Posted by LindsayMiller
I was molested from ages 6 to 10 or 11. I'm not really sure how old I was exactly when we left... But in any case in terms of my own abuse, I've come a far way in dealing with it . The bump in the road I've recently discovered was the confirmation of my sister's abuse by the same man. We were sitting talking about things our ex-boyfriends had said and she had mentioned that her ex had asked her why can't she love him. And she said it was because that that was wh...
Posted by jeanette474
  My Name Is Shame My name is Shame I live inside of you Whatever you say Whatever you do Is just not good enough My name is Shame I live in your mind I am not sweet Nor am I very kind I caused you to feel That you have no self worth I didn’t arrive The day of your birth I came much later I think you were two I saw it in your eyes You were sad you were blue It was then that I knew I would take over your soul And all t...
Posted by ijs611
hey guys. my name is ivy and i'm 15 years old. i've always known that my mom was molested as a child by her father but it never crossed my mind that i might have been. when i was 5 and 6 years old my mom and and dad and i lived w/ my grandparents. at one point i was home alone w/ my dad and grandpa (the one who molested my mom). he called my name from the top of the stairs and when i went to him he was standing there naked.. i immediately ran screaming and crying to my father. i�...
Posted by StayStrong
  Prostitutes and strippers are always associated with that they have been sexually abused. Why is this? Is it that they have a greater chance of having lower self-confidence, or are they just highly sexualized beings (though not constructively)? When I was 16, 3 years after living in an abusive environment, I was very ready to lose my virginity in a loving relationship. I sometimes wonder if I had not been molested years ago, would I have been so ready to commit myself to a ...
Posted by MayaSofia
I want to share a little of my story with you as well. Well it actually started right at the beginning of my life, now that I think about it. It started with the fact that I got abandoned by my birthmother who somehow didn't want me or something... So I was lying there in that place, without a name and without a family. A few weeks later strangers came to pick me up and take me home with them. This place called "home" turned out to not be worth such a positive word as home. But I don...
Posted by praetorean
I was raped three days ago. I feel lost, like I am in a fog. I feel so frustrated with my brain that I can't remember what I need to remember. The detective says it's "normal" and that I will continue the get "flashbacks" and packets of memory at a time. Man that ticks me off, I want to remember, I want clarity, I want to be free from this.
Posted by nocomment
MY PARENTS DON'T WANT ME TO COME ON THIS SITE ANYMORE BECAUSE THEY THINK SOME OF THE STORIES ARE TO GRAPHIC FOR ME THEY DID SAY I CAN GIVE MY FRIENDS WHO HAVE HELPED ME SO MUCH MY EMAIL ADRESS SO HERE IT IS bellabryght@gmail.com or bellabryght@hotmail.com please keep in touch with me
Posted by SIDUDE
  I have now where left to go, I have been to more doctors and therapists than I care to count, My life is filled with problems, and I just can't care any more. I do not know were I summon the strength to go on, I hate life, I have been beaten and abused as long as I care to remember, and I have suffered in silence most of my life. I blame God for this, this was my destiny in this life, God wants me in pain. I have asked God to take this cup from me but it has not passed, which ...